Today I went baddy, despite knowing ET would show up. I kinda knew who'd show up without asking. Time flies, things change. People come and go. Nothing to expect.

So how did it went ? Great I guess. I've seen everyone I missed. Loong, crisp, mic, pan, pooh. Doc wasn't there. ET was there. He became uglier. Sorry not sorry. He thinks he's a korean oppa? That kind of hair with a baymax body. Haha. Hilarious. I'd throw up.

It went smooth. Pooh was still cute ish. Haha. She brought a guy. SkII. Pan brought a guy too, idk what name, ex state. I played well for a handicap. I talked to everyone I guess. Except ET. Didn't even went near him. The nearest distance was across the court. I can't partner with him, I'd feel disgusted. I think they felt it. Cuz I chose to stand next to Loong when we would obviously overpower them. Not something I would usually do. What to do? Haha.

I'm pretty sure Loong knows something. My usual routine would be happily greeting ET. But this day, I didn't. I didn't look at him. Too ugly. But all is well. Baddy was still pretty awesome with them. Loong getting fat I think. Pooh too. Haha. Pan was still sly sly. That evil smile, the best. Haha. Mics sooo skinny, his drops kill me all the time.

Enjoyable stuff, will that happen again?

Idk what's with me. But I just wanna scold you.

Seems like you can't take the pressure in sg huh? At the end still crying running back to daddy.

Sorry I don't know the full story. But well, when it comes to you, there's no harm assuming the worst. Cuz you're the worst.

I can see how Cinnamon moves on easily. You're not a lovable creature. Idk what are you. But I'm pretty sure, you're a piece of shit disguised with healthy wrapper.

I can see how I made a decision to stop all these nonsense, then do it with no regrets. I can see why I was never broken by the fact we ended.

I always thought you'd stay at sg so I'd never see you here anymore. Seems like there's still a risk, cuz you're a coward. An asshole. A fucktard. I know sg girls are stronger compared to guys. They pace faster. It wasn't a very fair game, but I'm pretty sure msia boys pace the same, but you must be the one left behind. That's why you came back. You don't wanna show that you're a loser.

Guess what you'll never find a spouse. You might manipulate one into your life. But guess what, that's just the result of your shit. Manipulate one, and at the end of your life, you'd never be able to lie to yourself, that ain't love. That's just you loving yourself.

I've dated two guys.
One complete idiot who doesn't know how to live in the presence,
Another one who only loves to fuck, he should just get a fucking sex toy and stay like that forever.

I don't hate the first one anymore. But I can barely stand him. Too much negativity, and doesn't accept help, doesn't appreciate. You can't love someone who doesn't love himself.

The second one, everytime I think of his face I wanna pull his head out of his neck, that would be me doing the world a favor.

Maybe they both had done shitty things. Maybe they regret their decisions, maybe they changed. But that's sufficient to tell me that I'm done with relationships, FOR LIFE.

Look at me being free and happy.
I have nicsman and ginger. They cute. But they always speak canto, making my life a little hard, but still they're friends you can keep. 
I have onigiri, xiaoboy, snow. The mad gen gap which shows no gap.
I have the ipoh girls.
I have my food friends, moon, pinapple, yip man, arrogant. These are for life, man.
I have inti bc squad. Forever win, jon snow. Menshoe.

Wanna badminton?
I'm not free, sorry.

I guess from now on that'll be my only reply.
I'm sorry mic. I'm sorry loong, crisp.
Your bro failed me. I don't mind being the heartless one, if that's how it seems like to all of you. I don't need reputation. Your good friend would insist that he never did such stuff. And I'm not a friendship breaker.

I leave peacefully, you continue your show.

You don't deserve this group of peeps tho. Just saying.

Snow

Would you feel a little crazy when you've treated someone like a senior, asking questions and all, then... When you say "I'll be back to annoy you with more questions." And he replies "Yay can't wait."

I thought he was cute.

I mean. And all the tips, they were pretty sincere. I was about to wonder, why don't I just google the answers? Cuz he's seriously nice. Those answers are more than what google gives. Those are personal experiences.

Snow, snow. Why are you with bread? F2ps belong together. HAHAHA jk.

I hope he never gets bored of msm. I'd never get bored too I guess. Spent so much time on it. It's blood and sweat.

My cousie said, Onigiri's gonna be a part of my life. Haha he's right. I love onigiri. It's the best thing rhat happened to me last year.

Don't get it wrong. It's not like I'm falling for a person from a game. I'm not wade. Haha. Just... I find him really nice, to be teaching me stuff so generously without being judgemental, without making me feel dumb for not knowing them already.

It's just a process a crazy girl becomes slightly more gamer.

He prolly doesn't remember my real name. Hmmmmm. I know our topics revolve around msm. But... It's cool how it extends beyond that all the time, and. It was quite comfortable.

Maybe I'm just like artemis. Just artemis is waaay cooler. And I'm more like a nerd. Life... I wonder if he'd recognize me if I add him in social media. HAHAH.

Update

I met cinnamon last last friday. It wasn't an intensional plan, but yeah. Moon had it planned, and told me just awhile before the meet.

I missed her. Haha. She has a lot of sense. I kinda see pineapple in her. They're very alike, I guess. Crazy outgoing, crazy.

She asked, how's loong and all of them. I said, I decided to cut contact because something happened. She said, wow. That decision, must be made due to something big. Yes. Quite big I guess, since even yip man, pineapple, arrogant doesn't know the full story.

I updated her too briefly I felt bad. So I took a while to think. Should I tell her about it? I was with her ex. It wasn't a very nice topic. Of course, I skipped the part where I didn't tell my besties too. It's too much.

Cinnamon was like, I know his pattern! So hard to find someone who understands. Hahha. She does. Anyway. Seeing her happy with a new boy makes me happy for her. Haha. Very! She's not like he imagined. He twisted his words, twisted our minds, to make us all think that he's the poor fucking victim. Oh well, fuck off.

Everyone's going to sg. I kinda wanna go sg too. But Idk. Gosh. I don't wanna see ET at all. I don't want any chance to bump into him. I'd play stranger if that happens. But like I always told people, never make decisions based on people.

So ET's presence won't make me not wanna go anywhere. I'd just pray I'd never bump into him. Or I'll carry a knife anywhere I go. He's a piece of shit, and I will never unhate him for what chaos he caused.

My first ex? Want updates about that?
There's actually no update. Hahahhahahaha. We texted via fb messenger a little bit. Then one day, I forgot to reply him because I didn't know how to reply him at that time. So now the conversation's kinda hanging there, but I don't mind tho. So be that way I guess? I'm fine with that.

Moving on over him is doing super well. He doesn't come across my mind daily anymore. Not even occasionally. It's becoming a rare thing. Very rare! Thank god we never went karaoke together. That would cause flashbacks on songs, like how it did for loong.

I miss loong more than I miss my ex. Hahahahahaha. How cool is that.

Still msm

I'm not talking about the game. It's the people. Too cute.

A while ago, snow said he used 10 alts to farm for his main. F2p's way of being hardcore. I find it nice that I'm not really being annoying, asking for tips. Cuz sometimes he'd initiate a convo too, which is nice. Last week he talked abt pogo. Gosh he plays pogo! So I asked for the trainer code, tada. Found his real identity. His name. Stalker level 50. He's actually pretty good looking.

Another girl I know from msm. I don't really know her. Only by her ign, NaturePeach, a wind archer. My bishop goes ed with her time to time. I don't know how she doesn't mind going with me. She's level 137. But last time I checked, I have a stronger weapon. She even witnessed my rise. That day itself when I spent 40M to upgrade my weapon, she messaged me, "you got a new wand". Haha. Another day, she asked whether I participate guild forts. I said yeah if the slots doesn't get filled up. Then she said, my attack's quite high tho. Thanks nature! As a f2p you have no idea how much effort that means. I'm just happy onigiri doesn't treat me like I'm a burden. I am, the only active bishop anyway. Haha. NaturePeach has a strong guild too. SymphomySG. She even has the blue badge. zai. Haha. Yesterday her level 138 bishop NatureOcean found my alt. We went for MM and she asked, is there another Arya? I asked her, are you NaturePeach? It's a small world! So many channels, and there we met each other.

Snow has his road to mythic. I wonder if I have such day. Evan's out today, prolly around noon. I hate myself for waking this early. So excited tho. Haihhh.

Xiaoboy was still being a little cheesy. He knows that I don't really like him being like that. But he's getting lesser anyway. We're more like being long lost msm friends now. Too awesome!

It was scary seeing onigiri masters getting tired. Ven said he's shag already. Means sien. But then guild races daily 9pm kinda kept all our spirits up I guess. Kept me motivated to get myself full legendary set. Kept Ven motivated to continue. Xiaoboy was more shag. As a f2p living in among p2w, he broke it, and cashed a little. Damn. I think now the only f2p would be snow and I. Hard road ahead. But good thing xiaoboy cashed, now he's keeping up the spirits better. And his character is freaking good looking.

I like how maintaining good guild rank gets us crystals. Crystals that only can be bought by cashing. I got my 100 crystals last night. I remember getting it before, few months ago. And I spent them all to give bishop Arya a cute outfit and hat. Yes it's quite waste. but it's necessary! I play the game due to it's cuteness. It the hat armors make my Arya's cute hairstyle worthless, then how long can I go on? So now I just have to think what I should do with those crystals. Too precious!

Msm

I dont actually have a thing for xboy. It was just fresh. A new online friend. Something quite new to me. Plus, onigiri. Oh my. Onigiri is like the friendliest gamers. I don't really know other gamer groups. But this guild... It's strangership goals.

We have this team thingy. Xboy added me into it. Pretty sure I've mentioned it before. I realized, I'm not actually "not hardcore". I'm just a blur person without gaming backgrounds, but not crazy to the extent that I'd find them all out. It's now that I'm stucked at certain level, not having enough coins, which is why I started getting curious.

Xboy can't answer some of my questions, cuz he's not that crazy. So I private messaged snow. A guy from onigiri. Most people there cashed, aka pay to win. While snow was one of the free to play peeps. I'm f2p too. Gaming term. A lot to absorb. So I'd ask him and he'd advice me.

It's funny how a group of strangers meeting up via a small game, are getting more and more interactive, actually slowly being friends. Idk how old onigiri is. But it wouldn't be too old. The game's out for four months. We know each other's ig, means character name. They call me Arya. It's funny. But I kinda feel like Arya now. Arrogant said, bet I'd turn my head hearing Arya being called.

Onigiri's one of the most active chats I have rn. I think they have daily 100 over messages. Some of them were pretty talkative, but I'm a silent reader. I read each and every message, I do reply, just rarely. Hhaahaha.

Xboy was jealous of snow when I mentioned I asked him tips. Crazy ass. But I kinda like snow. He seems like a very nice guy. Just like xboy, our conversation was beyond just msm. I kinda liked talking to snow more. Xboy was too dry. Fucking hell. Starting to annoy me.

I find it cool that I actually didn't have to care much about how people would judge me that I'm playing msm or pogo. Because, people are still playing. I'm not a weird person. I'm following the trend while I don't even know it's the trend.

Best thing is knowing new friends tru this. And you can be real, because they don't even know you. We know Each other by our ingamenames. Ign. I'm pretty envious abt their meeting up date tho. It's like a blind date with a group of people that you know by their fancy names. Ppppp. Punch. Snow. Fruitymilk. Flowermilk. Kopimilk. Marshy. Nightknight. Ven. Robinstixx. Breadstick. Loss. Arya. Zyee. Ebikosushi. Xiaoboysukau. They're the cutest squad with all ages. I'd like to go sg to meet them too. Haha. Awesome peeps.

Xboy

I'll call him xboy, since his character name was xiaoboysukau. Haha. I think we're two of the not so hardcore peeps in the guild. I need soo much guidance. So many new terms, new info. I aa a casual player, couldn't take so much in such short time.

It's funny how we open up so easily to strangers. I told yip man soooo much, at the beginning, because I don't even know her. Same goes to xboy. I kinda told him a little too much. But he's soo not judgemental. We're quite straight to each other I think. No filter. No dramas. He actually said, he's having a thing towards me. HAHA. Can we trust people we know from the internet ? I don't know. But he can be a pen pal. Texting buddy. Ahha. It's a whole new experience.

I thought the rest from the guild was that friendly as well. I was starting to think, my character has such low level, do I deserve to be in this guild? I'm not using money on the game. But some of them are. So I was like one of the most inexperienced ones. I can have high level but still be the worst in the results of certain group tasks. Idk how I can contribute. Haha. But they're actually nice enough to teach me. I'm like "I'm so sorry I'm better at dying" and they'd be "you'll get the hang of it".

But anyways the point. I'll go back to xboy. Heh. He's actually nice. I kinda like him. Not the crazy kind of like like. But yeah. He's nice. We had very relaxing convos. Hm. I wonder how we could turn out. Long lasting texting buddies? Or it's just for a couple weeks. Maybe we'd even meet up one day. And it's gonna be super cool.