Woood<3

I'm so happy :)

I think about how he held in his arms. I think about how he stared at me.

He still loves me no doubt, he was teasing me all this while, making me jealous of that Shandy. But damn, I love him so much. I think of him, and I think of what he'd like me to do right now: be discipline and study hard.

And then I'd study, happily.

I'm so happy I couldn't stop smiling.

He's a great guy. Such an amazing person.

Bromelain

Shitshitshit. I know I've been eating too much recently. Being out with him, and for the sake of upcoming plans. So I'm controlling my diet more strictly now. I need to lose weight!! More!

Fruits! No problem. But!!! I ate too much pineapple. Bromelain is digesting my lip again. Imagine eating pineapple and you see blood halfway biting. This is too much. But I still went on finishing them, ignoring the metallic taste. It'll clot anyway. I'm vampyre. Second time bleeding because of pineapple.

Then it wasn't too satisfying, I got myself vitamin C. Regretted until now. Fuck. Vitamin c is fucking citric acid. Fucking acidic pineapple then acidic vitamin. It fucking burnt my tongue.

Why did I made that choice. Ohgodohgod.

Aaaaaaa.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Wood:3

"I wanna be happy for you but I don't wanna."
Sam's not really supportive bout me still wanting him. I get that. She doesn't know what happened. And it's okay.

Damn, I'm so happy. He appeared in my fb notifications, twice! Then WA! 

I couldn't say anything anymore.
:)

Aaaah.

:))))

Salty don't ask.

Salty fish called. She was damn fucking random. One of my sister's bestie, and wood's brother's ex.
It's complicated.
She just asked. She asked the stuff that I would love to know the answer.
"What did you two do?"
"What movie?"
"After the movie?"
"Where did you guys had dinner?"
"So do you two still have chance?"
"Are you gonna be with him?"
I don't know, seriously, I don't know.
"Tell me when you two got back together."
I'd like to lose the bet with pineapple.
I'd like to tell salty fish, it happened.

I used to tell myself. If he's free, he'd show up himself right away in WA. If he's free, I'll detect it easily, cuz he will find me. Sometimes, I wait and wait, I thought he might be free, but lost hope in me. He's still here. So yh stop overthinking. Stop overthinking and make yourself depressed, he's not gone. He's just busy. He's really still here. If not he wouldn't simply pinch your cheeks, pull your bstrap, he wouldn't care if you didn't wait at the safe area, he wouldn't tell you "Hold on! Few more secs!" If he's gone he wouldn't ask you out whenever he's free, he wouldn't do that.

So let's work hard together as planned. Let's do this shit. Having you far away, without frequent contact, it's just like you have gone to somewhere with different timezone. And it's important to not wake you up because you're already exhausted from all the work. I'll always wait for you to come back.

Your friend can study well away from school to maintain that results. I'm not that perfect. But I'm better at improving stuff I guess.

So you'll see my grades go up, never going down.
Yeah let's work hard together, whatever way we're going to end.....

I drove wood out.

I wasn't hoping at all. When you asked, are there movies today? I got slightly excited, but thought, "YH Don't get your hopes high!" So I did what my head told me to. Not expecting anything. And when I almost screwed up, I was still okay.

Anyway, it happened. So now you see me drive, how was I? I think I drove okay, safety... But it felt uncomfortable. 

Today's a wonderful day. We went out, I got myself super fat meal, then a movie, then another big fat meal. It's worth it. I still call it cheat meals. When I cheated meals, I cut less the next meals. When I cheat workouts, I do punishment sets. That's how I work. But exam doesn't count. First two days of period doesn't count. 

The movie was funny. You were adorable. I love being with you so much. I really, would like to hook your arm during the movie. Haih. But at least you still allowed me to lean on. I'm glad I'm(still) able to tell you everything. Tho I was slightly worried bout what you'd say cuz I told you everything in past tense. Your responses were still great. :3 You're amazing just by not doing anything. Ugh I'm screwed because of that. 

And of course! Every single training, I see you in the conversation with the same freaking girl. I actually almost believed that you're somewhere else already. Thank god you're still here. Jealous? How could I not be? I seriously dislike her. -.-  Who told me to wait? No one! Myself! 

Something I've learnt, to make situations okay.

Calm down, and think. 

When you're about to get mad, think. What am I supposed to do, for the sake of situation but not feelings? You were yelled at, insulted. Give a smile, and tell them, you know what to do next time. Think, why are they angry. Why did you not listen? There was a reason. Tell them! 

It fixes all, doing things and not letting their harshness piss you off. 

If you're upset, sad and angry, keep it in the head. Make sure you give a poker face. Emotionless one. Think about it for five minutes, then let it go. Because you know that he's long gone. One day, someone would want him anyway. 

Just focus on how to be a better person. 

Well thank you for not laughing at my slow and steady driving. Thank you for confirming that I've lost weighy. Today was awesome. 

Worth it, if my sister really does treat me like shit because of the screwed plan. 

.

I can't believe this.
I can't listen to my fav song anymore cuz I'd cry. Before that happens, I have to turn it off, and switch a random, mood changing song to make everything back to normal. Then say "I'm okay," before continuing whatever I'm doing.

It's still my fav song. It's just memories. I don't wanna flash back anymore. Fuck off.

Okay ? .. 

Wood:)

I miss you.

I remember myself saying this whenever I hear notification sounds but not knowing whether it has vibrated or not. "It's never gonna be him." Well guess what? I was right all the time! It's gonna be some random lame puns from the class, or... whatever else. And that's why, my phone is always on mute.

I can live without data. Seriously. It would save up so much of my time scrolling fb.

I actually have a test later. But fuck I'm damn moodless rn. Then I saw my phone fully charged. Unplugged and saw the whatsapp icon at the notification bar.

Definitely the group chat again.

Eh?

Him.

It was you, telling me to do a cute choice of yogurt test. I can't describe the smile I have rn.

:D

You're a very cute training buddy.
And yep I know you'd think I lied.

For now, my choice would be vanilla. And vanilla would taste nice with fruits. Being on a diet, I'm falling for strawberries. Even tho they're sour, but yummmmm.

Ily training buddy