.

We always lose things, break things. Anyone notice? It's always the best things that's used and destroyed.

I lost a guy. A few coaches. A hardisc that contains all, all the fucking memories. One of my favorite earrings. What I broke? I broke my phone screen. My fucking ankle (fine I didn't break thst, but it's considered so bad). A few rackets that was actually broken by someone around me. My favorite little keychain's ear.

It's always the best things. Maybe they're meant to be gone. Maybe just because, fate wants us to not get happy at all. Not get too happy, because it knows happiness makes us spoilt shitty kids. So it wants us to get used to the pain, and they take away everything you love the most.

It wants us to just.. not know how to love anything at all, then one day, you lose the thing you love the most, you'd unintentionally look okay, because it's not that bad anymore.

I honestly wish I can be a fucking shitty spoilt kid forever.

We all have these friends that won't ever fall for someone cuz they see how people work. They fall for one, and take back the feelings when they see the true colours of the so call "crush". It's so awesome how they did it.

There's no such thing as forever. Like how my fucking website says. Fishtail said, forever is just awhile. Everything's just for awhile. Cuz people are fucking bitches.

Just screw it lo.

`&$*#*(!:

When wood didn't show himself.... I was asking myself. His event ended. He slept til so late yesterday he should be coming. Why didn't he come? He loves badminton so fucking much like no one else. Why would he skip? Third last training, and he skipped it. Why? Is he sick? Injured? Or overslept? No,no. He wouldn't let himself do that. He's the most disciplined person I've ever known.

I broke my own rule and texted him.

Thinking about it I wanna take a hammer and throw it into my head. Fucking hell, why did I do that? Clean cut, clean cut!! Fucking forget it _&$*(@?:

I seriously have brain issues.