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Three weeks ago, I get to know this guy through badminton. I'll just call him moon. He's like ginger. Very very similar to ginger except he's the very chinese version. I've ignored ginger, so many times, treating him like half blood prince. He used to be chatty, now not anymore. Now, Moon's that chatty too. How to make boys stop being friendly? I seriously have no idea.

I feel bad. He dragged me into his badminton kaki, which I really like that. Then slowly, I realized, this group of people are from the same highschool. A batch of 91's. Pretty old compared to me. We get to go for supper after badminton. I feel bad because I don't belong there. Yet, moon brought me there. It's just so wrong.

From this group, I even found an MIA graduated student. It's pretty awesome cuz we have mutual friends. :3 he's a composer & pianist. Such a small world.

Both ginger and moon are crazy badminton addicts. Like wood, like me. That's how we get along. It's awesome knowing new people, having new badminton gangs.

Idk if I'm doing right.

What would you do when your heart says yes but brain says no?
Are you gonna choose the route that'd hurt you for a long time, or the route that hurt you one or two days, but happy forever?
It's contradicting.
She said, training has discontinued? Good.
Suddenly he told me to go back.

I was trying to get comfortable on my own, without seeing him. I was trying to smile from inside, and get rid of the thoughts of him. I was trying to let go, and he asked me to go back.

Of course I'm happy. I'm really happy. Heart wants to go for it, but brain told me, it's gonna make me die. It's gonna torture me to death. Brain told me, I settled down for a new environment then stay with it. I started a new training then I belong there now.

Heart used to always win.

Brain told me, yeah he wouldn't like it if he knew, but he doesn't give shit anymore. He doesn't care anymore so I shouldn't too. Brain told me, stop following my heart because that kills.

Brain told me, I gotta stop all this bullshit and live my life without him.

I don't care anymore.