.

And suddenly I'm getting free time, sitting in an air con room, chilling. I'm starting to go blank. I think...

I'm thinking about texting him, but I know, he has an exam tomorrow. I don't, Shandy doesn't too. We're pretty free. And then... I don't know if I should text him. I'm starting to think, I don't really know him anymore.

He has a test tomorrow. If I text him, is he gonna explode and kill me? I don't know. But I'm afraid he would. I was thinking, I shouldn't judge him by the past. I shouldn't expect this and that. I shouldn't just...... I don't know. I shouldn't just assume that he'll always be him.

I think I should try to get to know him all over again. I should allow him to self intro again.

Two years back, the voice said:
We're not broken just bent.
He said he'd be my first and last, so be patience.
A year ago it changed to:
He will never come back.
Promises are temporary, sad truth bout life.
And now...
He came back. The problem is, until when?
Don't trust, don't give in.
To love is to destroy.
Love makes us blind, makes us dumb and stupid, it kills us! Fuck that shit, I'm awesome alone.

He said, he will never give up.
You will. It says, you will give up. You'll get tired of me like you did before, and you will leave. But guess what? You can't hurt me. I'm heartless. Try me.

And I feel sorry for him.
I'm sorry that people change. This is life.

I'm sorry that I wouldn't try to make efforts.
Cuz you made too much. I don't know see where we're going. We're not gonna progress from that, don't you see?

I need to reintroduce myself, that I'm a fucking negative person. Yes. I believe that promises never last. I believe everything is temporary. I'm always ready for my friends to leave. The newest ones that got close to me would know how frequent I take photos. They would know how much appreciation I showed. But when they leave, I believe that it's fate. Fate wants to end this relation, end it. Life wants to make this friend leave, bring him away. But at the same time, I accept this fate. I may be pissed, sad for a little moment. But this is also, temporary. This is something everyone should have, I believe. To save themselves from damage..

I'm sorry that it breaks you seeing the way I'm different. But look, I'm happy, aren't I?