He's harsh, as usual. The way he cares always sounds harsh. But the inner voice is soft. He's always soft. Harsh at me being reckless, because he's always careful. It might sound paradoxical, but nah. Most guys don't really care about stuff. They don't know and don't care. He's smart, always using the knowledge to the max. Talking to him, I can learn a lot. There are always many many mind blowing facts. Well, I trust him.
His harshness doesn't make me cry anymore. It's the thought of "he doesn't love me anymore" that makes me cry. No I don't call that adapt. One does not adapt to harshness. It's the way he cares. I'm happy he does. If you want him to be happy, you don't explain. You let him finish, that's all he needs to do: finish. And when he finishes, he goes back to that softness. Hyped and adorable again. You don't adapt to harshness. You understand his concerns, smile and be grateful. Not talk back and be mad, no. That was the problem between us. I listened to reply, not to understand. I was dumb.
Boys. Sometimes, I think I don't know how to love that guy. Maybe we really can't match. We're both hard. But that's not a fixed thing. It's changeable. If you want to save a relationship, what do you do? I'm on my way. Don't know what I did, but situations are definitely getting much better. Maybe because I speak lesser. When the word "busy" appears, I'll disappear after one or two last messages. I'll wish you all the best on the thing that you're 'busy' doing. And remind you, ily.
He's harsh, as usual. But it's different now. I used to be harsh back, using 'fuck you' on him. That was mean. I was mean too. Damn, I regret that. How different? He's harsh on some past mistakes. Yeah it was kinda pointless. What's the point of always staying mad that I broke my phone screen? I know the mistake. Just don't put it on the lap in the car, so I won't forget it and drop it. Well I don't have to be mad when mom reminds me of how I scratched her car. I know I should reverse more, then only turn the steering, always pay attention to the front, so the mistake won't repeat. If it won't repeat, what's the point of being mad? I've found the solution. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. The past was me being harsh back for stupid reasons. And I'm glad for seeing it so clearly now.
He's harsh, on a past mistake. For that, I'm sad. How hard is it to let go if someone you love threw a tantrum? Maybe I'm just not much.Well I wasn't good enough for him to forgive and forget.
He's just harsh because I didn't take care of myself well enough. That's a past tense too, I can't fix what's broken, but I can stop breaking it. It's very sweet, that he cares. I know we're broken. We can't change the past, so there's no point crying about it. I can only save whatever's left, and rebuild the bond. Situation's getting better, means I'm on the right track.
The he that I know, won't get back with his ex. He won't hang out with his ex. Definitely won't kiss his ex. He doesn't keep in touch with his ex. Somehow we broke up for months but he still kissed me. He's letting me be independent, but he still loves me. At least that's what I feel. I belong in a weird and special position in his heart. He asks me out, tho he won't try to be romantic, but it's okay.
I was a burden when I was supposed to be the one enhancing his life. That's why we're in the fixing stage. He's afraid to let me back in, afraid I might still be the same burden I used to be. So I need to leave him alone for the sake of him, at least until he's done with the studying stage.
And then one day, maybe he'll finally see me as the present me, not as the me I used to be. Then it'll be much more smoother to mend the bond.
His harshness doesn't make me cry anymore. It's the thought of "he doesn't love me anymore" that makes me cry. No I don't call that adapt. One does not adapt to harshness. It's the way he cares. I'm happy he does. If you want him to be happy, you don't explain. You let him finish, that's all he needs to do: finish. And when he finishes, he goes back to that softness. Hyped and adorable again. You don't adapt to harshness. You understand his concerns, smile and be grateful. Not talk back and be mad, no. That was the problem between us. I listened to reply, not to understand. I was dumb.
Boys. Sometimes, I think I don't know how to love that guy. Maybe we really can't match. We're both hard. But that's not a fixed thing. It's changeable. If you want to save a relationship, what do you do? I'm on my way. Don't know what I did, but situations are definitely getting much better. Maybe because I speak lesser. When the word "busy" appears, I'll disappear after one or two last messages. I'll wish you all the best on the thing that you're 'busy' doing. And remind you, ily.
He's harsh, as usual. But it's different now. I used to be harsh back, using 'fuck you' on him. That was mean. I was mean too. Damn, I regret that. How different? He's harsh on some past mistakes. Yeah it was kinda pointless. What's the point of always staying mad that I broke my phone screen? I know the mistake. Just don't put it on the lap in the car, so I won't forget it and drop it. Well I don't have to be mad when mom reminds me of how I scratched her car. I know I should reverse more, then only turn the steering, always pay attention to the front, so the mistake won't repeat. If it won't repeat, what's the point of being mad? I've found the solution. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. The past was me being harsh back for stupid reasons. And I'm glad for seeing it so clearly now.
He's harsh, on a past mistake. For that, I'm sad. How hard is it to let go if someone you love threw a tantrum? Maybe I'm just not much.Well I wasn't good enough for him to forgive and forget.
He's just harsh because I didn't take care of myself well enough. That's a past tense too, I can't fix what's broken, but I can stop breaking it. It's very sweet, that he cares. I know we're broken. We can't change the past, so there's no point crying about it. I can only save whatever's left, and rebuild the bond. Situation's getting better, means I'm on the right track.
The he that I know, won't get back with his ex. He won't hang out with his ex. Definitely won't kiss his ex. He doesn't keep in touch with his ex. Somehow we broke up for months but he still kissed me. He's letting me be independent, but he still loves me. At least that's what I feel. I belong in a weird and special position in his heart. He asks me out, tho he won't try to be romantic, but it's okay.
I was a burden when I was supposed to be the one enhancing his life. That's why we're in the fixing stage. He's afraid to let me back in, afraid I might still be the same burden I used to be. So I need to leave him alone for the sake of him, at least until he's done with the studying stage.
And then one day, maybe he'll finally see me as the present me, not as the me I used to be. Then it'll be much more smoother to mend the bond.
No comments:
Post a Comment