A levels changes people

Days are getting different. Everything is different.

Most of my friends are pretty busy studying different different things. Joker flying to Russia for medicine, class rep too but Idk what he's up to, no updates. Orange too, medicine but local. Shell doing food science, stomata going for dentistry. Me, biotech.

All is different.
My grades are different.

Okay, maybe it's A levels. Maybe A levels changed me. I think my understanding is getting better and better. At least much better compared to highschool. I talked to sis about it, highschool was like preschool. It just happened suddenly, passed suddenly.

Four subjects.

I remember how weird I've been. My science and math used to be 100% during primary school, then math gradually went down, while I failed science at form 1. I thought it was a language changing issue. It was so bad. I think going overseas to study has this risk. I'd waste all that money and time retaking shits just because I don't understand slangs. Even in local, I fucked up once. Not gonna fuck up twice.

Thanks to Wood's inspiration, I went back up. Thanks to Wood's inspiration, I realized I can do better.

Well there will always be a period that he wasn't there. During A levels. Shits happened. It has the tendency to lower my interest towards bio, and raise that of chem.

If you ask me, now, how did everything went? In among four subjects, the one I got the most stable A is chemistry. Isn't it weird? And my mind told me, yh you suck at chem so you have to be super focus during class. I did, and I thought everything was so fucking easy.

I was so nervous during lab. Thanks to A levels, I got better. During highschool I'd walk into class, do the experiments guided by my lab mates, while I actually never knew what exactly I was doing. But A levels got me clear. Even tho I'd walk into class blur, but at the spot we get the procedure, so everyone else was equally blur. On the spot, we took practical exam like that.

In uni life it's so different. We do the practical during lab. We can fuck up our experiments, we can read the procedure any time we want, as in we can study it well way before class. I'm so not used to this. I actually feel pretty comfortable walking into class then only start investigating the experiments. I can't believe I prefer walking into class being blur, then being clear as anyone else.

I think I'm changing. I'm being weird. People study beforehand. I don't. But I still think they're blurrer than I am. I never actually felt this way. I have a lab mate which is the blurrest person I've seen in my entire life. I used to think I'm so anxious abt lab. I had to depend on my lab mate, I need guidance. But now I'm the one guiding kitty??

If you ask me about my grades, I can proudly tell. Even tho I think it sucked. It sucked because the questions were soooo easy I should've gotten 100 instead of an uglier A-.

In conclusion: A levels changes people.
IT'S TRUE. IT'S FUCKING TRUE.

Or is it?

Throughout all these years, I had such an important realization. This is why my sister never lives unhappily.

This is why I'm getting more positive over time?

If you ask me, I'd say, FCUC sucks. You wanna take A levels? Go sunway. Go Help. Anywhere just don't go FCUC. But at the same time, have I regret?

No. If you ask me, actually it's not A levels that changed me. It's accumulative events including breaking up, getting to know this bunch of adult friends, and of course how tough A levels are, plus how ignorant the lecturers are. Breaking up taught me how to be alone, smiling. These adult friends taught me how to move on. A levels taught me how to think under stress and short of time. Ignorant lecturers taught me how to be independent. Everything.

If you don't rant, if you don't complain, you accept your fate, then you have the space to learn. You made your decision, you don't wanna regret, so you make everything worth your time. You learn.

At the end ask me. Do you regret?
No, I never.
That doesn't make FCUC a good school tho.