.

One sentence may cause mental breakdown.
One sentence, can kill.
Can make someone who's already fully determined to do something, to lose it all.
All that effort. Just like it never existed.

Just one fucking sentence.
Could ruin a whole life.

Good thing my sister's not in the room.

I'm scared to death. Of you leaving me forever.
The word I scared the most, is "Enough."

I told myself, you're so busy, twenty four seven.
I'll just look at fb, the time fb tells.
It's usually 1 min ago, unless it's morning,
It would be 5 or 6 hours ago.
And I say, rest more, you sleepy head.

I promised myself not to check,
But still did anyway, 40 mins ago.
Definitely driving then. Drive carefully.
1 min ago. You reached. Definitely unpacking then.
Talking to self, actually to you. It's became a habit.

I'm no longer attached to the WA notification.
Yours is the one that notifies and vibrates crazily.
The rest, individuals mute,
customized individuals & groups only notify. Without vibrate.

So I'd look more forward into fb vibrations.
Sometimes I see you posting. And get terrified.
Then cry after reading.
Nah just kidding.

I read, and get whatever I'm doing screwed up.
And maybe screw up a day. Or a week.
And I have to smile so perfectly to my family,
And slowly I'm used to it

Mom doesn't ask anymore.
Maybe she thinks I've settled whatever problem I had.
I wish she never asks.

After all this time, I know.
It won't get any better.
It's just getting worse.
All these restless nights.

I wish I can put you into long term memory.
And then they throw you into the dump
and you disappear.

I wish the memory of you, stop getting stronger and stronger
I wish something bad happened to me, and lose part of memory.

I don't wanna forget you
But when you're affecting my life,
It's just so fucking hard.

Someone used to say, we'll be sad for three days
After getting our spm results. And then, life continues.

You're not someone I can easily forget
Three days, three weeks, three months

How much more? Let's see if I can be Ok after three years.

Stop it.
Enough.

I wish.