.

When it's 5am in the morning and you're still thinking if you should get some sleep. Sometimes I hope I'm realistic enough. I needa get my priorities right. Studies should be the first because they're responsibilities. But how to set your mind to do that?

I wonder if there's anyone up for me to annoy. Some day I should stop blogging. I should stop blogging for the rest of my life. Just to stop tripling the shit effects of being shit.

Seriously what's wrong with me? I was really excited the past few days. I was looking forward to this weekend.

Maybe it's the effect after knowing A2 exam date. Today we went to the office to get breakdown for AS. I did badly in bio for paper 1 & 2. I can't accept that. I did better in chem, than bio for those two papers. Why? Was I over confident? Not really. I was just too excited for it to end. Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up today.

Tuesdays' badminton was probably one of the reasons. Idk what was wrong with me that day, if we could just restart that day I would act differently. Yeah you were right. I didn't think you'd notice, but what difference would that make? It doesn't change the fact that I'm a terrible person.

Apologizing is pointless because It's only done after the damage has caused. 

I wanna put my head into the damn ground. And never show myself.

The time gets "late morning" each min. It's telling me to go to sleep even if it's just for less than two hours. But the voices. They're screaming.

Maybe I have split personalities. Maybe I'm completely insane and need real help. Maybe I really should isolate myself. Blogging and blogging won't work.

What else could?