.

Not running today. Not forcing myself today. What is that you call? When you hold on something tight, you don't let go no matter what Cuz you know it's what you want?
It's called "bullshit".

Hah. Life sucks. Why everyone just wanna enjoy throughout it. There's no such thing. There'llnbe infinity lies, unkept promises, shits, disappointments. And it's all just bullshit.

I skipped workout today. I don't feel like doing anything.
I feel like killing.
I wish it's possible I skip all classes today.
To just be in bed all day. Is that possible?

Who's not tired!? Everyone's tired! But who would do that?
What am I?
I wish I can punch myself until I throw up so I look sick and I can stay home in bed forever.
Seriously, forever.
I wish there's a shortcut to quit life.
What do you do to make yourself suddenly die?
I heard one dying of too much instant noodles.
But that's too slow! Maybe I'll charge my phone and ask someone to call me.
Maybe I'm already on my way to reaper's list.
It'll end soon. Hold on for a little.
Everything will not be alright. It's a fucking lie.

Half a year, it doesn't change shit. Still dying. And worse. Try dying every single day? And the next day waking up to college with a fucking smile.

College mates don't know anything. Boys talk about girls, girls talk about guys. I talk about my him. They don't get how the situation is like. I say 16%, the next day it became 0%. They can't get because my face looks the same whenever I say anything.

One knew I had suicidal thoughts.
Who cares anyway? Who the fuck cares.
No one. So just die! What am I waiting for! Get a fucking knife and slash that wrist. I'll be there in no time. Every pain could stop.
Why not!? But before that, I shall eat some pizza and cry to death.

Fuck everyone in this world. Fuck those bullshit. Fuck those Assholes. Fuck everyone And I actually mean it.