.

Overthinking kills.
And today it kills more, I need to talk

Because of that, I even turned on my WA last seen, to see whether my closest friends are asleep.

Yip man slept, all food friends slept,
My classmates too slept.
(I don't think I'll talk to them about it..)
There's just him.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me,
since he's the reason I'm awake.

They say, you cry until dehydrated,
You'll eventually fall asleep and wake up OKAY.

I don't think it works that way cuz when you wake
You wear a smile all day, and when midnight falls
the cycle repeats itself, and you'll hope you die.

Depressions never end.
Time doesn't heal, nothing gets better.

It's been half a year and it only got worse.
The pain doesn't go anywhere. It gets worse
And unbearable.
Only the acting improves.

At the end you could cold laugh to your sister
While tears streaming like fuck.
Hahahhahhahahh like that.

They say they punch to feel manly again.
I used to punch to feel less dead.
Cuz hurting reminds me, tomorrow I still have to live.
So get some rest and be ready for a smile to wear.

He talked to me. And didn't just simply reply for the sake of replying. He read, and replied.
Talking to him still makes everything better.
He's a great person.
People like him makes the world a better place.
He makes the impossible possible.
And his notification turns tears to tears of joy.

Breaking up is still a cruel thing.
I used to only cry in a fight with my sister,
Or parents.
After that I became the mean one.
But now we don't fight at all.
I don't remember any fights.
I only recall, how my terrible mood made me skip meals.
And also spending time in the bed pretending to be asleep,
So everyone would leave me alone.
No more fights, because emotions stay in the bed.
And that's good for everyone.

Thank you for showing up.
I guess I can sleep.

Tomorrow please don't repeat the cycle.

It's scary how easily I could convince myself that there's completely no hope between us.

But the hope comes back. Cycle repeats. Fuck my life