Day15 workout streak

15 days streak.
So these days I added jogging into the list. I realized my stamina has gone down crazily. Felt really really ugh. So dad wakes me every morning. And every time I'm awake, I have that strong urge to just get back to sleep. How to overcome that?

I'm conscious. I should lay here wasting time. Get up and run. Ok. So I guess it worked. The time I spend struggling gets shorter each day. How bout the run?

We walk there, I have a million shits running in my head. Should I run? I'm so tired. So so fucking tired. How about I go and just do some random workouts? How about I just run one round? How do I overcome this?

I needa lose weight, and one round's almost nothing. So run. How many rounds? I get tired reaching 1.5 rounds. Then, my mind would be Nah I can't do it anymore. My left foot hurts. I'm dying. Ugh. How do I overcome that ?

I run two more rounds, and I'll be stronger than yesterday. Yes just two. So did it, dad be like Hey you improved.

Working out in the park, there are advantages. There's that super firm "bench". I guess we could do bench dips. I've always wanted to do that. But the chairs at home are just.... not reliable? Duno. And then there are the parallel bars. I wanna play with that. But Idk what to do yet. Dad could do pull ups. I wish I could do one. Just oneee.

Other workouts? Plank. Hah the worst of all: left plank. It's not improving yet since day 1. After everything, it's just too tiring to stay in that for a minute. So it remained a minute. And many times, I want to collapse before the time I should. And then I must think, there's few more seconds. Don't stop. I can't improve, but at least don't make myself as bad as yesterday. I'm supposed to improve!
*tadaa one minute*.

It's the most terrible month of my life(physically). Why. Starting is the hardest step. But then, when I successfully started, I have to maintain!! Fuck. Nothing should get into the way. And also the diet part.

Me: Mom can I eat a piece of peanut biscuit?
Mom: Why do you ask me?
Me: No I can't! *leaves sadly*

It's so hard. Ignoring the urge to eat chocolates and chips and MORE RICE, ignoring the thought of "I hate this vege and I'm not eating it", ignoring the urge to STOP running, ignoring the thought of "take a rest, take a rest forever".

Is this how you train that discipline?
I'm tired and I wanna relax. Let me play one round of this game.
No, I should study and I cannot stop UNTIL I'm done.

Dying. This is. Fucking. Torturous. Shit. Aaaaaaaah