I'm so sad. Idk why. Wood tagged me in something, he's back to jungle but he's fine and healthy. I wasn't alone in class even tho stomata ditched me, Shell accompanied me. Everything was fine, Jaclyn taught us a new topic bout transition elements. it was interesting. Week of hell was over. Everyone was so considerate and nice, I wasn't given stress and shits like that during mix.
But why am I sad. It feels empty, like it has been empty for so long. It's like I'm so tired I lost my aim of life, and I don't know what I wanna do. I want to work harder but it seems like I'm not going places. It seems like I couldn't play badminton well. I've been a beginner for so long. At the start, I just wanted to beat guys. I just wanted guys to stop looking down on girls, but until now, I can't. They can't cover me because I suck. Because no matter what I do, I did wrong, but they were okay. I suck and I deserve a long shitty lecture. Be mad at me like how wood did, be like how coach did. I miss him like hell, I look at all of them but I still think he's the best.
I wanna play mix better, I wanna not let him down anymore, but I don't know how. What to do. I really love to play badminton, but I don't even know how to be a good partner. How do I improve, then?
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