.

I'm upset. I'm sad. Without a reason. Break up can't be the reason anymore. It's too frequent. Do you understand me? It's been four months. That doesn't make anything better. That doesn't bring death back to life. Yeah. I'm not dying, how can it break when it's not even there. I can't let go of you. I'm upset for no reason all the time. I'm impatience. I don't wanna be with anyone who wants to know bout me. I don't wanna reply to any concerns. I can talk crap with you. But deep talks? No.

I'm tired of being mentally exhausted. I wanna be understood. I don't want my family to bug about it. I don't want them to know. What's the point telling people stuff if they can't help or can't understand!? I want you to understand me. But that will never happen.

I want to get back to normal. Being dead is scary. Hell isn't a nice place at all. I can't recognize myself at all. I don't used to be like this.

I want to be happy again, but I don't know how. Idk how to let go of that. I wanna stop crying in the middle of the night just because it's terrible to bear with.

I wanna stop having suicidal thoughts.
I wanna stop thinking things will never get better.
I wanna live. I wanna rub off my tears and never cry anymore for the rest of my life.
I wanna be tough and nothing can ever shake up that depression and stuff.

Something's telling me to let go but I don't want to. Issues like that shouldn't cause this. My words count. I gave you and I'm not taking back. There must have been some mistakes. I'll wait. Yeah. I'll wait.