.

I get sad listening to certain songs. Whatever I listened when I was with you. I get sad seeing stuff related to you. I get sad seeing the cold replies. I get sad, waiting for you knowing that you've given up on us. I get sad seeing happy people holding hands, couples tickling each other, being by each other, staying strong for each other. I get sad, imagining life without you, and imagining you with another girl. And you telling her, you love her.

I don't know. I'm not afraid of cny. I can manage to smile throughout college, I can smile and ignore them asking whatever I don't wanna answer. I can manage crying for nights and showing up with a fucking bright smile in front of any life forms, I can manage. I can manage faking it all my life. I can manage telling lies: I don't care anyway. I can manage to make myself busy enough so I put this depressing shit aside. I can manage...

Highschool friends were talking about future, stuff. Some of them moving away, some further studying far away. Me? I don't know. I used to want to stay here because of you. I used to, want to stay here just to be with you, and still do. I told you, I'll always be here, I will always be free for you. But then. Am I really gonna do that for someone who's not even trying to get us work again? Am I gonna do that?

I'll wait a little longer. I'll work a little harder.
I'll work much harder. And die.