.

I remember there was once, my Japanese relatives came, for my cousin's wedding. He went to a trip with highschool friends. I was in a fucking terrible state, because I thought we were about to broke. I guess we both were in a terrible state. It must be hard, being with friends, but having conflicts tru phone, with me. Well. Guess we were both forced to smile. For the wedding, for the highschool mates gathering.

At night he asked, what do I want. I said I wanna be happy again. And he sent me a photo of himself. Heh that made me cry smiling. Heh. I lost that photo. Wish I still have it. Wish we're still fine. I wish I have all of them the skype photos, the audios. I swear, one day, when I can ear money by myself, I will pay to fix that stupid hard disk, and get our memories back. I will fucking do that. And cry to sleep listening to your voice.

I'm actually a little more nervous than expected. How am I supposed to react? I can ignore well if relatives ask. But if grandma there asks?
"Oh we're not together already. Don't expect me to be with anyone else in 60 years. "
Can I please answer like that? Like. Seriously.
Usually when my uncle asks, he doesn't ask "how's you and your bf?" He usually asks "how is he?" So I can answer that like nothing happened. And then easily get away with it.

Like nothing happened. And must smile.

Well now,,.... how? Ohgosh. Should I use earphones to block the questions? Or a book so no one would disturb? Damn, damn. I'm gonna crap. Crap some shits and quickly change topic. Okay.

Fuck everything. I'll do great. It'll be fine. We will be fine...