I talked to my sister. I told her, I'm not sure what I want after pre u. I said, I don't know where can I go. I told her a few choices, and said, how high the requirements are. And she said, we'll see, after you finish pre u.
She thinks I can't. I told her, don't underestimate a girl who's single.
She said single ladies aren't always having high achievements.
I said, don't underestimate a girl who's single who's realizing things..
I call them fake, I call their eyes two pools of lies, fake. All fake.
She said why.
I said because nothing counts.
She said, we are. We all are too. She said we girls are bitches. We're all bad.
True, too. Yeah we all are. But I can't see any of them. More like, I don't give a damn bout others.
I said you'll know when you be in that position.
But I thought he's different.
She laughed.
"You only said that because you see him as your everything, your entire world."
Yeah. And when the world gave up on me, what else's worth living for? Absolutely NOTHING.
So that's what ruining my life. My fault for putting a person, somewhere so high, too high until I can't even reach him anymore. My fault, over prioritizing someone. My fault, my fault, my fault for thinking us would be different. My fault, for thinking he would stay till the end, with me, thinking we will go through shits and moments together, thinking it will be better.
Turned out it's just me. it's just me who wants this. How stupid, how idiot I was, and still are. How dumb, for me to allow this shit to make my life into I don't even know how to describe this kind of shit. What am I? What am I doing, why? I don't know. For what? I don't know. I don't know! Why making life so miserable, so hell-like, so, meaningless!? It's just me. Yeah. I never knew loving just someone could cause this chaotic fucked up life. I never knew. No one told me how to do this shit, and how to deal with this shit. I willingly died. I willingly killed myself tru this break. I willingly destroyed myself.
At the end, there'll be no one.
I guess the lesson will be: Never, ever, believe.
Just believe no one. Fucking no one. No such thing as "always", no such thing as I love you. It's an expression. It's just a shitty beautifully painful fake line actors use in tv. It's fake!
Life is shit. Living is shitty. Oh gosh why am I not born a tree.
People are fake. Not exactly fake, but fake. Nothing's real in this world. Even the someone or something you see as your everything,
She thinks I can't. I told her, don't underestimate a girl who's single.
She said single ladies aren't always having high achievements.
I said, don't underestimate a girl who's single who's realizing things..
I call them fake, I call their eyes two pools of lies, fake. All fake.
She said why.
I said because nothing counts.
She said, we are. We all are too. She said we girls are bitches. We're all bad.
True, too. Yeah we all are. But I can't see any of them. More like, I don't give a damn bout others.
I said you'll know when you be in that position.
But I thought he's different.
She laughed.
"You only said that because you see him as your everything, your entire world."
Yeah. And when the world gave up on me, what else's worth living for? Absolutely NOTHING.
So that's what ruining my life. My fault for putting a person, somewhere so high, too high until I can't even reach him anymore. My fault, over prioritizing someone. My fault, my fault, my fault for thinking us would be different. My fault, for thinking he would stay till the end, with me, thinking we will go through shits and moments together, thinking it will be better.
Turned out it's just me. it's just me who wants this. How stupid, how idiot I was, and still are. How dumb, for me to allow this shit to make my life into I don't even know how to describe this kind of shit. What am I? What am I doing, why? I don't know. For what? I don't know. I don't know! Why making life so miserable, so hell-like, so, meaningless!? It's just me. Yeah. I never knew loving just someone could cause this chaotic fucked up life. I never knew. No one told me how to do this shit, and how to deal with this shit. I willingly died. I willingly killed myself tru this break. I willingly destroyed myself.
At the end, there'll be no one.
I guess the lesson will be: Never, ever, believe.
Just believe no one. Fucking no one. No such thing as "always", no such thing as I love you. It's an expression. It's just a shitty beautifully painful fake line actors use in tv. It's fake!
Life is shit. Living is shitty. Oh gosh why am I not born a tree.
People are fake. Not exactly fake, but fake. Nothing's real in this world. Even the someone or something you see as your everything,
It's not real.
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