.

Why do I never learn? Let someone in and something bad will happen from the inside. Not gonna write about what shit happened. I wanna spam myself but fb is filled with bullshits.

I wish yip man is awake. Sincerely. Sad thing all food friends and all my psychs are probably asleep.

Life is so tiring. I thought I'm gonna stop letting people in and love badminton forever. Sometimes, loving badminton makes me let people in, and made me hate badminton.

Look at all the people I loved. I know them all through badminton. It'd save me so so much trouble if I didn't start this sport. If I still am that girl who doesn't sweat at all. That little shit. Look what trouble I've brought myself. I can never love badminton. I need to know people to play. But I don't wanna know people.

Push them all away. Kick them all out of my life, and they'd hate me. I don't mind that. What if I miss out one or two? We get close, someone gets hurt.

My bad for letting you in. My bad, for being worried of shits I've caused. I never learn. All these shits told me I shouldn't play this much anymore. Stop badminton and stop all the drama. If life can't be happy at all without badminton, then that's how life is supposed to be. Shut everyone out and stop risking.

Promises are never promises. I will never ever believe in promises. I think I gotta go a day out with drama queen.

Don't get upset, cuz when you feel happy today, you're gonna suffer tomorrow. Just fucking remember, when it hurts again, you repeated your stupid ass mistake. So just stop all this bullcrap.

People don't make any sense at all. Being comfortable is just what kills you. You feel fucking awesome? Because whatever you're doing wants you to feel that way.

No matter what happened, no matter how bad you're trying to believe again, you're just one more step to hell. You're just back in the trap. Everything's gonna repeat itself. One day you stop caring, and someone's gonna try to make you feel happy. Then destroy you. Leave. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

Only the day you stop caring, you stop feeling sad. I just gotta stop giving shit. Didn't I knew? I've had this website all my life. NOTHING lasts forever. Nothing even lasts more than two years. Just fucking stop expecting miracles because they don't exist.

I'm so sick of myself.

Last fucking time. If someone tries to be nice, tell them to fuck off. Silent your phone forever because no one's worthy. Love yourself as much as you can because it's how.