Alone

This is the first time. I went to LRT, alone. Fucking alone. I'm not scared of dying, or anything. Mom's scared. Hahah. She's a little worried. I said, no big deal, humans have to die anyway, at the end. She said, it's a big deal, lol. I guess no negative talks to parents.

It wasn't as hard as public bus. Buses are unpredictable, you gotta do some research before heading to whichever bus you want. All these are kinda new to me.

I got there, a little lost. There's so many ways to go. So I simply followed the crowd. They led me to the wrong tower. It's actually dangerous. Imagine yourself wearing formally, with nice dress & shoes, alone, lost.

I don't care, no one cares too. But of course this isn't supposed to be a suiciding trip. I got there safely hahahahaha. The few worst parts are: it's so cold. I'm so cold. And these shoes are killing me.

Imma good girl. Tho this dress suits that white-princess-like high heels. I wore black flats anyway. Looks super weird matching like that. Heard me? I didn't wear high heels! Obviously, not because of you.

Well, the ushers weren't as efficient as last year. I'm like lost here and there. Oh I reach the hall! But don't know where to sit. Lmao.

Being alone is lonely. Still, I don't care. It's so funny to look at others, like seeing past self, leaning on his shoulders, then thinking *nothing lasts forever, those aren't real. They eventually breakup.*

But hey, I'm free. I have nothing to lose. I just have to drift tru a few more decades and I'm done. Don't tell me "you only live once". I get that. I lived. And I'm done. Wait. But tbh, it'll be better if I die after my parents.

Two more stops to the last station. Ladies, don't you all leave me here. I'm not scared of dying but I'm scared of being with male grownup strangers. They're pervs, they're monsters. Oh come on.

I miss my blanket.