Updates

Alright I just returned from hell. I swear it's the last time I did that. Ok updates.

Practical was a disaster. Especially, chemistry. Sometimes I read the question and panic, just don't know what to do how to start. There's no exact procedure to follow, unlike bio. For bio there'll be full procedure, and some thinking. But chem, no. The question will be like ok there's solution FB4 and you gotta figure out what cations are present. And then... panic. That day we definitely screwed it up, not able to finish all the tests in time, ughhhhhhh I'm just so dead.

Math, that day I was off. Like I said I returned from hell, so..... I kinda... don't know what was happening during class. I know we were relearning differentiation and integration to find... smtg. I was damn off and thinking bout how to die. Forget it.

Alrighhtttt. Hell made me broke the streak again. Sorry, not sorry. Body's still in shape, cuz I didn't eat like a mad person(luckily). So yeah I skipped intense working out for few days, but did light ones only. Then Friday I got back on track. Feeling damn great making little tears to muscles hoho. Feel the burrrnnnn. Ok ignore me.

So training was okay. But I sucked during the few games. Ugh what was I doing. After training, as usual. I finished whatever sets and reps that I usually do, but couldn't plank more. Um. Like I usually do 90 secs straight but today I just did 60secs. Or,,,, side planks, dying in 60 secs instead of usual 70secs. Fucckk. Cuz my elbows were dying. It looks fucking ugly rn, rough, scarred and dead skin all over. It looks like I have some skin disease lol.

After all those, my dad told me that he'll be coming sooo late, so I did some new ones. Actually, old ones. During my old training, my old coaches used to like to make us do a buncj of physical training, like shadowing with racket, then footwork (moving shuttle corks to all around the court), and also jumping tubes. Those tubes are kinda tall. I wanted to add box jumping into my list but didn't have a proper place to start. Well I think jumping tubes is good enough? Fucking tiring. And there's smtg I can't do anymore. There was a pile of unwanted shuttles at the side, so I took some, to throw. Imagine standing at the end of the court, then throwing them one by one, over the net. I can't! Fuck. Used to be better at these. Tho there were few successful attempts... *cries*

He's still too cute to ignore. I can't turn away. I can't walk away. I only could stand there and attempt to pinch him heehe. Then stare at him acting to be mad. He's definitely not mad. :3 but still, being in the middle of a match, I would strongly appreciate if he would just let me think. With my own voice in my head. Ah. I'll do better if I practice more shadowing. I think? Gonna do that next time.

He told me to do the circular leg lifting with him. As in we sync the movements. It's so cool. :3 maybe I should add that to the list too.
I'm falling in love with that. Purely because we could do that together. I know I'll screw him up if I screwed up. But nah that won't happen if I do regularly right?? :3 cirrrrclleeeee.

All is well. I'm not craving food that badly these days. Maybe just abit but not so extreme. I used to think I will never be able to eat with a healthier & lower carb life because my grandma cooks oily& meaty all the time. But then, can't believe she changed when I changed. Before every meal, she would ask if I want rice. The answer definitely will be "No" but she asks anyway. Using greens to substitute rice sucks, but could be really filling too. Doesn't make sense right? Actually, it didn't start that way. I ate vege and meat, but was always unhappy and never satisfied. Maybe I conditioned that kind of appetite. Now a bowl of leafy greens can fill me up. It's the appetite. I'm easily full, now! (Yay)

Back from hell cuz he still cares. Sorry for the bad imaginations and extreme lowering expectations. I tried to convince myself to hate him but hahahaha never successful. He cares more than I do. I'm saying that cuz every Saturday, he'd say "Wait in the office" as goodbye. And that's good enough.

I'm sure I'll be going back to hell for that. b