I made my decision to end our relationship, just because, it's incompatible. Seems like we're not looking for the right partner and doing the right activities.

If you ask me.

As I sworn never to call him wood anymore,
I loved my ex, fully, madly. To a point I could've died when shits went wrong. I was abusive, not to him but to myself. I was stubborn, but when with him I'd go whatever way he goes. It's that scary. I was attached, clingy, I was fully transparent. While he walked away.

I moved on. I heard advices, I digested them all, I learned. I had a new changed mindset from a friend I trust the most. To my ex, he said it's a negative mindset. But to me, it's reality, the ugly truth that once you accept, you win in life. I think, I accepted it. I got with ET. Yes. There's nothing else to hide. But do I love him? I love him as a friend. I like spending time with him and his bunch of friends. He once lectured me about being all shitty for me having fucked up emotions for my ex. He was harsh, but necessary. So I accepted. People say it's best falling in love with your best friend. But you never know.

I lost my best friend, like this. Haha. Such an idiot eh? Like I expected. They're a bunch of temporary people, meant for me to learn something. I've learnt a lot from my ex. Learned that such assholes exist in this world. I could be played, I could be used. Then at the end, from ET squad, life still goes on. Sounds easy eh? When shits happened to you, it's not that easy. Life goes on, if you love yourself enough. everything's temporary, but that can't hurt you. If you reached that state, congratulations, you're officially a heartless person, and no one can hurt you.

She said, you ok?
I'm fine.
He's right that I love badminton more than him. Badminton is always the first priority. Afterall, badminton's the one that brought me to my ex, to moon, to ET, to basically everyone (almost) that matters in my life. What to do? Decisions' been made.

Move on. There, I regain my freedom. My stress free life. I don't even care about a drinking squad. Who says I don't have any squad. Valentine's my new squad. He's so sad. We'd have a great time.