When we're younger we often hear oooh this cousin broke up with the girlfriend and recently he's so emo he got skinny. Or maybe, seeing so many classmates, schoolmates getting together then separating for duno what reason.

As we grow, we see the stories behind.

We listen about our best friends getting a bf, the closest ones, the close friends that their entire family knows your name and allows us to spend time boundaryless. Then you know, they get weird boyfriends. Being a third wheel of married couples, being... Dumped to go after for, etc etc. We listen to stories about these guys dating people who already has a gf, even getting married soon. We hear things about married guy friend tangling up to girls from thai clubs, vietnam clubs. We don't even know if those are really a girl, or just.... A freaking pondan. We hear about girls initiating sex then regretting because the guy didn't have feelings. We hear about girls making your close guy friend crazily attached by using nudes. Girl that went with a guy who has a wife which had an affair with some other guy.

So much shits. Everything that has to do with fucking. Guys want to fuck. Girls, idk what girls want. Many want different things. Some wants money, some just wants a solid shoulder, a true friend. I don't know. So many stories, disgusts me, but usually hilarious cuz holy can you see how immature they act.

The thing is, I never feel surprised listening about these anymore. I laughed it off, and start my evil judgemental judgements. Thanks to someone who put me into a situation like that.

Physio and TCM peeps are back from their three week break. Now, I'm surrounded by his spies, I feel a little uneasy. I feel like I could walk a few steps and accidentally bump into him himself. Let's just pretend I've never been with ET, we should be mutual, anyway. But him? That can never be done. Mad love is irreversible. I realized.. he can do anything. He can go for other girls, I'm gonna be mad, but I always let go. The things he did, it's okay. I spoiled him. I can be super pissed for a solid week. I can be broken for a couple days. I'd say, it doesn't matter. Yes it doesn't matter. Moving on is my new talent. But then, I'll never stop wondering. Wondering how did his life went, wondering what exactly is the reason we split paths, while these are something that I'll never try to look for answers.

I'm gonna say, I learned a lot from this guy. I've become a little heartless. I've become a different person. I can't trust people. I doubt every fucking person. I assume that all guys have initial shitty thoughts. I don't put my heart onto anyone. Guess this is how I survived ET, how I rationally removed myself from the guy. I'm a meanie. I was guilty for one solid day. And its done.

But when it comes to him, I'll always unintentionally be dumber. I trust, I die. Haha. Funny. Or maybe loving someone is supposed to be like that ? Hopefully not. I'd stay single forever if that's what it takes. HAHA. Dieeee.