Are you happy?
I can't completely delete you in my life. I can't completely let him in my life. I feel sorry for him because I couldn't completely let go of you. I feel sorry for you because I'm letting him in. I'm like an extra. If I didn't exist, so much bullshit can be prevented. You won't have to suffer. You won't have to listen to my honest thoughts and get hurt. You don't have to change. He too, doesn't have to waste his effort for me. I'm so unstable. I feel like I should isolate myself in a room and stop being with humans. So everyone can just forget my presence. I can live freely.
I don't even know. Is it a good thing? Loving badminton made me be with humans. Loving badminton made me know seaweed, you, moon. So many people. So much drama. My past, my present, all of you exist because of badminton. Is that a good thing? It gave me so much joy, and pain. What is that? Sometimes I thank it, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I just wish I like stupid games which I can just play by myself, without getting to know new people, or interacting with people.
So much drama. All of this would stop if I stop badminton. Why do badminton people like me? I swear when I play. I say fucks and shits during the damn match. Or is it because I love badminton? Maybe I should get a new hobby? Like painting. painting alone.
What am I supposed to do? Deal with the drama? I think I'm too shitty to deserve anything, and anyone. There's nothing I could do for you. There's nothing I could do for him too. I'm thankful moon wants to stay with me, be my listener despite how stupid those matters are. I'm thankful you suddenly appreciate everything I've done for you. But look. Look at what I'm doing rn. I stopped. I fucking stopped. So thank you for your appreciation, please move on.
Everyone cares when it's too late. You noticed how unmatched we were at first. I agreed it later. That's all. Idk what's gonna happen in the future. But I know you'll be well. Work can make you so busy that you won't even remember my presence. You'll be glad I told you no. You'll appreciate that in the future. Then you'll get your perfect job. You'll get everything you were working hard for. Then I'd congratulate you. It's gonna be years later, I have no idea if we'll stay in touch but. I'll just be here. as a friend, so far away. Everything's gonna turn out ok at the end.
I can't completely delete you in my life. I can't completely let him in my life. I feel sorry for him because I couldn't completely let go of you. I feel sorry for you because I'm letting him in. I'm like an extra. If I didn't exist, so much bullshit can be prevented. You won't have to suffer. You won't have to listen to my honest thoughts and get hurt. You don't have to change. He too, doesn't have to waste his effort for me. I'm so unstable. I feel like I should isolate myself in a room and stop being with humans. So everyone can just forget my presence. I can live freely.
I don't even know. Is it a good thing? Loving badminton made me be with humans. Loving badminton made me know seaweed, you, moon. So many people. So much drama. My past, my present, all of you exist because of badminton. Is that a good thing? It gave me so much joy, and pain. What is that? Sometimes I thank it, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I just wish I like stupid games which I can just play by myself, without getting to know new people, or interacting with people.
So much drama. All of this would stop if I stop badminton. Why do badminton people like me? I swear when I play. I say fucks and shits during the damn match. Or is it because I love badminton? Maybe I should get a new hobby? Like painting. painting alone.
What am I supposed to do? Deal with the drama? I think I'm too shitty to deserve anything, and anyone. There's nothing I could do for you. There's nothing I could do for him too. I'm thankful moon wants to stay with me, be my listener despite how stupid those matters are. I'm thankful you suddenly appreciate everything I've done for you. But look. Look at what I'm doing rn. I stopped. I fucking stopped. So thank you for your appreciation, please move on.
Everyone cares when it's too late. You noticed how unmatched we were at first. I agreed it later. That's all. Idk what's gonna happen in the future. But I know you'll be well. Work can make you so busy that you won't even remember my presence. You'll be glad I told you no. You'll appreciate that in the future. Then you'll get your perfect job. You'll get everything you were working hard for. Then I'd congratulate you. It's gonna be years later, I have no idea if we'll stay in touch but. I'll just be here. as a friend, so far away. Everything's gonna turn out ok at the end.
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