.

I wonder how I look like, in front of my sister. She's always teasing me. I'm always depressed but I made sure I appear happy and insane in front of her. Does she notice? Whenever I listen to the sad songs she plays with that speaker, and whenever I get fucked up in my head. Does she notice all the messed up emotions whenever I made lame jokes and sound like I like her and would do anything for her? Does she notice, whenever my voice starts to sound like I have shitty runny nose? Does she notice when I'm at the top bunk breaking down? Even tho I know how shit my life has become, I've covered my mouth each time this happens. But did she hear any of them? Or was she just pretending not to know?

Maybe she's playing along with the show I put on. Maybe she's just acting with me to protect my pride? Or would she do that?

It's weird that some people care. They're so unexpectedly there. Why are they there? Or is it true? What wood said. When you're feeling vulnerable, people would appear nice. Wood appeared. I told him to shut up, just today, and apolpgized. Arrogant appeared. He said I could tell him. But I realized there's nothing I want to talk about. I just need a good cry alone.