Some positivity

These days studies are driving me nuts. But honestly I'm happier. Less thinking too much bout shit negativity. Even after looking at his snaps, his photos. He's hospitalized this recently. Of course I texted him to ask. He was cold. Probably in pain. Pain makes him cold. But I'm not affected. Just hope he recovers asap, so he can catch up his studies, or else all that stress will make him go crazy.

It's a dumb thing. To hold on so long. Not that dumb. We loved differently. We couldn't give each other the love we need. We didn't match, but didn't want to admit it. One moment I thought it could get better, he rejected. Then when he thought he can make it better, I gave up. It's fate. We both suffered this long, it has to stop.

I can never love the same. I doubt I can receive love the same. Let's hope everything gets better. Feeling is essential, so we gotta bravely embrace it. Risk it. Risk, even when you know, it's all temporary.

Moon always said, he's here to balance me. I've been balanced. Sometimes you tell me to destress so much, I actually hoped you make me go study and get more stressed. Isn't that what Wood's been doing two years ago? He taught me, a lot. To suffer before so you can enjoy afterwards. I'm still doing what he encouraged, just I didn't notice. Isn't it weird?

You've balanced me. You made me, happier. That's for sure. But I guess it didn't cut the negativity. I'm still believing whatever I believed that made me fucking depressed and crazy. Just now,,, I believe them all with a better mood. Maybe? Maybe it's just for now cuz I'm getting crazy with studies. But I think you really did balanced me. I'm full of negativity, but it didn't mentally torture me like it did before. It's just there.

Thank you....