Wood,,

They say, we never ever completely let go of someone you really loved. I guess it's accurate? Cuz after all we've been through, I still hoped. I wish you stay in my life, doesn't matter what role you'll be. I just wish you stay. It's okay if you don't. I find myself scanning for your name, and choosing your snaps to load, out of everyone. Yeah, you were the reason I started using Snapchat. I find myself still caring about you from time to time. I guess you know that I viewed every single one of them. Sometimes, I snapped to stories just to let you see. I have no idea why. I even thought that you might did that for me too. I'm so dumb. You snapped to show me your regret, you being sad. But damn, I don't want you to be like that. You can overcome that right? Since you'll forget me once you got busy. I hope you get busy. Changes aren't so easy. I know you're different, but you'll always choose a better future over everything right? I guess you'll be fine.

One day, you don't have to stand at the corner to watch me with him. You don't have to dance on your own, spinning circles, getting so lost. You'll find that everyone's temporary, even me, and yourself. Moon's temporary. It's deeply planted in my heart, that I won't ever trust anyone, including you. What's worse is I'm trying to trust him.

I wish one day, I'd see your happy snaps again. I wish I won't select yours first. I wish I don't care anymore. Idk if you still read them. Do you still access? To read these drafts? Look. I'm not how I used to be. I'm insecured. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of feeling. That's what giving a hundred percent did to me. I wanted to be with you like nothing else. It was hell. You look here. Read carefully. I've changed. You don't want me now. I'm a hundred percent flawed, I'm thrice as annoying as I used to be because I'm always so fucking depressed. You couldn't handle me, I can't even handle myself. Okay? You don't wanna be with me, you'll suffer with me. I can't even sort myself out, even if I care, I'm gonna look like I don't. I'll be as cold as ice, cuz I can't do anything for you. I can't even do anything for moon too. Whoever that wants me won't end up happy. I only have the ability to spread negativity, so one day you'll be glad I don't want to be with you. Just accept it. We're both toxic to each other. Okay? I care, I always do. But that doesn't matter if I only hurt you and never do anything to enhance your life. I don't know how to love anymore, wood. I really don't. And I don't deserve love from anyone, especially you.