Not everyone is gonna sense the fucked up point in you, and trust me. You don't want anyone to sense it. Cuz when you're holding it up hard, they can easily hit you with one simple sentence: Are you okay?
Well of course if you're strong enough, you'd blurt out yes of course, since when am I not okay? It's life. Everyone has the shit phase.
I think mine has got to be... 3 years back, up to the past week. From exactly this month, three years back. The journey to shit life. And now it's all over, FINALLY!
I can't remember exactly when did life started to turn. I remember, september 2015, I made up my mind to break up with the guy. Recently I'm seeing posters, ig snaps about world physio day. I fucking hate world physio day, tbh. The thing that fucked us up back then. But I guess I was too soft. He easily made me take back that decision, back then. Then proceeded to break us up. Hah. Hilarious. Shits continued.
I'm thankful I get to know moon. He's still a nice friend despite sometimes I dislike his attitude. Everyone will have their weird ass personalities, we don't have to like them. At least, as long as they're sincere, it's all acceptable. But, we never know when exactly they're sincere. We only know who the sincere people are when we no longer have the tendency to benefit each other, isn't it? How sad. But I'm pretty sure, moon is real.
Not ET. Idk about loong. Idk bout doctor. Idk bout gold. Idk them all. We all become real when alcohol is involved. But it's a different case when the alcohol doesn't affect them. Alcohol affected me, it doesn't go both ways. No matter how you fully exposed yourselves, that's just you being fucking dumb. Never do that.
Sometimes I think, I really conflict myself. I tell the sad people, speak up, talk to your close friends, and there's where you find a new direction. They'll console, they'll be there for you.
But I guess I don't do that anymore.
Sometimes you state facts, and people be like "Wow. True, but such a depressing fact." Sometimes your feelings will be slightly exposed from the little things. But the good thing is, you look too confident, which doesn't look depressed at all. And that's how, they won't ask. Haha.
My life is fucking blessed. I still have my shitty eyesight. I still have large crazy appetite. I still love exercise. I love maintaining whatever I do. So no, lion, that doesn't sound depressing asf. I do have close friends out there. If I can keep things up, I shouldn't have to bother them. And it's okay like that.
If people want to show care, they will find ways to show you that, no matter how okay you are. But that doesn't mean they care. People always have intentions. Of course I'd be a piece of shit if I'm gonna assume they want shit from me whenever they sincerely concern. But who knows? If you've been played like a toy, are you gonna trust?
Just because they told you not to drive with eyes this condition, it doesn't mean they care.
No comments:
Post a Comment