Oh you're still training ?
Yeah every sunday morning. Used to not join this squad because I had another group playing at 2-5.
And what happened to that group?
Dramas. Badminton life is drama.
What actually happened ?
They don't know me anymore.

You're dead if it matters.
You're dead if you care.

That doesn't mean we should live really heartlessly right? That doesn't mean we should change all in the future to prevent this, prevent that.

Guys who liked me, knew me tru badminton. None ended well, doesn't mean I should stop badminton, right? Doesn't mean I shouldn't trust anyone from baddy squads right ? Doesn't mean it's super dangerous if this squad's starting to be part of my life, right ?

I'm glad we broke up, and they don't know me anymore. So that I'd start to join this squad. Setapak squad. They aren't as old as loong squad. Maybe a couple of them are, Aaron's age. But the rest, mostly 24, 25, 26. Pretty young. I have faith that there will be zero romanization in this group. Please. The lesson is learnt. Badminton is more important. To maintain a badminton squad, there has to be no love. If not, it dies. Look what happened to ck and his old girl. Guys fighting over a girl. What happened to your ethics? Look what happened to loong squad?

As long as we all friendzone each other well, no harm will be done. It's a better decision.

Sometimes I click into people's profiles. This guy, national player. I remember he used to post duo photos with his girl. They all disappeared. I get it. You guys broke up. This is why, never post photos with your love, it's never lasting. It's all unstable temporary shits. Don't post, don't need to remove. You shed a tear when you remove, admit it. There's no need for extra drama. Nothing lasts forever. Friendships are no guarantee too. It's just... At least, without any romance, there are lower risks of ruining it all.

I know my exes tru badminton.
I started to baddy. I had a crush for rivergrass back then, which was a baddy friend.
I started to become a school team player. I admired our BC president. We got together, broke.
I started to play a lot, a lot. I was never a happy person, so I played, and played.
Moon had something for me, at FCUC BC.
He introduced me to Loong squad.
ET had something for me. I accepted, and fucked up.
Every fuck ups' got something to do with badminton. Every single one. Why? Am I prettier when I badminton? Do I play with a very nice posture that people take second looks on me? If that's the case I think it's all finished.

I blogged so much, so much, because of baddy. Because of how fucked up I was. I have such blog because of badminton. It's so fucking obvious i should quit badminton and get my life back to normal. But it's already done.

Upset? Go baddy.
Happy? Go baddy.
It's literally part of my life. I don't even care what level of skills of peeps we're playing with. Haih so conflicting. I don't even know whether it's good to have a dramatic life. I'd see people without a life, and feel really bad for them. But at the same time, I feel bad for myself. Ish.