Wood

Weird thing is he didn't block me in anything. Not fb, not whatsapp, didn't even delete me in snapchat.

I do miss him. Few times on daily basis. Then I think about how I've talked to him, how supposingly he should be hating me so badly right now, then I stop. There's no point missing someone that I've removed in my life, cuz I did this myself. But I still do miss him like crazy.

One thing he did. He customised his fb photos privacy. I couldn't see them all rn. I wonder why. Since I'm this sohaishitex. Wood don't you wanna show me how normal your life would be without me? Perhaps, you changed snapchat privacy settings too? Cuz it's rare to not see anything in your stories. He probably thinks I've badly backstabbed him for another guy.

Maybe he couldn't accept the truths about how his behavior made them left him, so it sounded like they're all mean girls that left. I thought I'd never be one of them, but I am already. Probably the meanest one? I mean hey I told him to Fuck off. Probably one of the meanest texts I've sent while crying rivers at the other side of the screen.

I know how much hate is required for me to remove someone's right to see everything in the wall. Tbh it kills me. Making him did all that, quietly. He probably thinks I didn't notice them, cuz I'd make a big fuss abt it and beg him to allow me to see them again. But not this time. I'll have to pretend how heartless I am. How completely I want him to leave me alone. How serious I am. No matter how bad it is. I regret tapping in his profile to check on him. I mean why? He thinks I don't care anymore. It shouldn't hurt, but it did.

Maybe because it's midnight and I've woken up by severe pain from a dream.

Moon says I'm a daydreamer, and a night thinker.

Never been more accurate. I'm smiling a lot these days. Getting these crazy depressed nights lesser and lesser. But they still happen. Sometimes, I think it's bad to wake someone up to talk about shits in my head. Even tho I know how someone would be sooo willing to be a listener.. it's just. It's my shit. It's better I take them alone.

Sometimes, negativity spreads. It sucks when it did, cuz seriously I have zero intention to spread them, especially to extremely positive people. It hurts when they become quiet. I remember how drama queen became quiet. How moon became quiet. It's all my fault.

Who'd be awake at 2.30am and handle all this depressed talk? Just me.

Please yh. Get over him. A guy that treated you like that doesn't deserve your tears anymore.