.

I honestly thought everything was going fine. I thought I'm partially forgetting him. Partially moving on.

The dark, the music, it's so familiar.

I remember when we broke up, I didn't want to live anymore. Everyday, I avoided eye contact with my family, so they won't ask. I stayed in my bed all the time, so they don't have to see me cry. I always have a towel with me in bed, to cover my mouth. With loud music, so my sister doesn't have to hear any sound. I did it so well, she can actually tease me. Deep down, it hurts. But I gotta act like I'm just mad. In school, we sat in a circle. I was so sad I couldn't look at my friends without tearing up.

Depressed moments are over. Completely over. In more than a year, I tried everything. He was expecting something, I don't know what. I tried to talk. Clear things up. Unfortunately, I wanted to talk, he never responded. It's so unbearable. Wood. Do you know? Of course you don't.

I finally decided to give up. And you turned up giving me hope, telling me you were jealous. But wood. It's over. Even if You're still the top in my list, I pushed you away, too. It sucks because I didn't want to, but I must. I must make you leave my life. Why am I so depressed? I thought I was ready? Ready to lose this shit, relationshit or friendshit. I was prepared, but still, you turned up and gave me hope, and made me kick you out of my life.

We are indeed, unsuitable for each other. We're just two person that want each other, but couldn't be with each other. We're all complete by ourselves, relationships are supposed to enhance each others'life, intead, we ruined each other. The way you care fucked up my life. The way you tell me stuff tore me apart. So stop. This is it.

This is the first time, I think you sounded more vulnerable that I am. You're telling me things, and I have no idea what you're saying. Goodbye? Wood, you already said goodbye. You said Bye each time I tried to make up with you. You said Bye when I didn't want to leave. And now, you kept popping up in my notifications. Why? Wood, why?

The moment I said I give up, this is what you do? Wood you can fuck off now. As in fuck off my life. I'll cry for a day, and I'll get over you. I'll be ok afterwards. You? I don't care about you anymore.
When I said I'm tired of your bullshit, I mean it. Despite how many times you're gonna ask me to join your training, I won't go. Just mock me, look down on me, whatever. It won't work anymore, because I don't love you anymore.