I can't believe what I'm doing. I've made a decision of ignoring him until..... Idk when, maybe when we're old enough to stop hurting each other? Whenever that is, hah, it'll probably be years later, or maybe never.I'm gonna let go some day. One day he can send me texts and I'd not get affected. I'd stop searching only for his name in snapchat just to see how he's been doing. Yeah one day I'll stop them all.
Wood, I find our communications super problematic. It's just impossible to clear things up with you. I've spent a year, and still failed. You seemed like you're finally listening to what I'm trying to tell, but still, misunderstandings, assumptions, overthinking, everthing ruined it like always. I feel it's pointless to keep trying since it only hurts us both. I think. I'm the bad guy right now. If you feel like it, there's nothing I can say. I'll forever be the one who picks another friend over you, in your mind. I'll ignore how bad it is knowing you'd think that way. I'll stop explaining,
I said I let go of our relationship. Did you believe that? I said I let go and I want us to be just friends. But honestly. If you made effort, you knew that I'd irresistibly run back into your arms. That was what I thought. I said I give up, but... I'm gonna need much more than a year to do that. You lil shit.
My sister used to like mentioning you for fun. She didn't know she was killing me inside, she thought I was just mad. I usually leave the room to be alone. I guess I looked so damn fine to my family facing the break up. I hate her mentioning you. I also hate you thinking that I'm deeply in love with moon. Cuz how could you think that way, when deep down inside I'm dying to make up with you? It fucking hurts. still. I can't believe it.
I'm not gonna block you. I won't ever block you. Maybe you'll be the one blocking me, but I'll be okay after a while. I'm gonna show you, your words, actions and seeing you smiling with people won't affect me anymore, cuz you're just gonna be one friend that I never talk to in fb. We have many of that friends, and you're just one of them. I want you to still look at my name, and one day maybe realize you've lost the one who'd do literally everything for you. I want you to see me living a happy life alone, and you're okay to not be a part of my life anymore.
I just have to face the final few texts before you stop.
When someone won't let you in, eventually you stop knocking. - Ransom Riggs.
You'll stop, then we'll live a peaceful life away from each other. I just gotta patiently wait.
The good news is, nothing lasts forever, including this pain.
I remember that soft epilogue you've agreed on. I said I want to talk, and that's the last thing I ask from you. So you agreed, we just sat in the car in the middle of the road. Then we talked. It was mostly you speaking, I listened, nodded while crying without any sound. You told me how tired you were. How stressed you were because of my stupid unsecured mind, my never ending overthinking, my little expectations. And the last twenty minutes we just hugged. Reminiscing those moments. Just that. When you dropped me, you gave me that forehead kiss.
Flashing back about it, it still fucking kills me.
Wood, I find our communications super problematic. It's just impossible to clear things up with you. I've spent a year, and still failed. You seemed like you're finally listening to what I'm trying to tell, but still, misunderstandings, assumptions, overthinking, everthing ruined it like always. I feel it's pointless to keep trying since it only hurts us both. I think. I'm the bad guy right now. If you feel like it, there's nothing I can say. I'll forever be the one who picks another friend over you, in your mind. I'll ignore how bad it is knowing you'd think that way. I'll stop explaining,
I said I let go of our relationship. Did you believe that? I said I let go and I want us to be just friends. But honestly. If you made effort, you knew that I'd irresistibly run back into your arms. That was what I thought. I said I give up, but... I'm gonna need much more than a year to do that. You lil shit.
My sister used to like mentioning you for fun. She didn't know she was killing me inside, she thought I was just mad. I usually leave the room to be alone. I guess I looked so damn fine to my family facing the break up. I hate her mentioning you. I also hate you thinking that I'm deeply in love with moon. Cuz how could you think that way, when deep down inside I'm dying to make up with you? It fucking hurts. still. I can't believe it.
I'm not gonna block you. I won't ever block you. Maybe you'll be the one blocking me, but I'll be okay after a while. I'm gonna show you, your words, actions and seeing you smiling with people won't affect me anymore, cuz you're just gonna be one friend that I never talk to in fb. We have many of that friends, and you're just one of them. I want you to still look at my name, and one day maybe realize you've lost the one who'd do literally everything for you. I want you to see me living a happy life alone, and you're okay to not be a part of my life anymore.
I just have to face the final few texts before you stop.
When someone won't let you in, eventually you stop knocking. - Ransom Riggs.
You'll stop, then we'll live a peaceful life away from each other. I just gotta patiently wait.
The good news is, nothing lasts forever, including this pain.
I remember that soft epilogue you've agreed on. I said I want to talk, and that's the last thing I ask from you. So you agreed, we just sat in the car in the middle of the road. Then we talked. It was mostly you speaking, I listened, nodded while crying without any sound. You told me how tired you were. How stressed you were because of my stupid unsecured mind, my never ending overthinking, my little expectations. And the last twenty minutes we just hugged. Reminiscing those moments. Just that. When you dropped me, you gave me that forehead kiss.
Flashing back about it, it still fucking kills me.
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