I can't do it. I have many many voices in my head. Stop it. Please stop it. I'm starting another American series. It's like the only way to distract me from all the shits.

But when each ep ends, I had to keep on playing it. And it's not healthy at all. I'm supposed to study. Do notes. Anything but relax. I'm supposed to be busy.

Ten days to finals, and I'm here thinking about my ex.

Wow. My ex.

Yes.

How do I accept that ? I can't.
I seriously can't.
I don't think I should bother ET anymore. It's not his fault I have shits to deal with. It's not his fault my ex was a piece of ungrateful little idiot. It's not his fault I broke up with him and got fucked up.

I shouldn't bother anyone. But it kills me. It seriously. I want to drink. I want to drink, like crazy.

I want to die.

No I'm just saying. I wanna go into a deep deep coma for 5 years. Please. Give me a break ? How do you end the pain? How? ET, how did you end the pain? You still loved her when you left her. You made the choice. But you have a bunch of alcoholic brothers with you. I only have you. And I don't know what to do.

Idk what to do.. please can you make it stop?