Last night, midnight, ai was a little unsecured. Empty because... Some little things. Nevermind, last night I was thinking I had to get a badminton squad here. I had to join little events if possible, and... Service cell...
I thought about shandy. So I took the risk. The story is, Shandy unfriended me not long after she got to UK. Unfriended, unfollowed, clean cut after UK. I couldn't ask her why, I couldn't risk. I was worried she'd tell him or anything, and he'd blame me for being busybody.
I made the decision to tell her what happened, not so tough decision, but tru that I got to know some very unacceptable secrets.
Not gonna write it here. But knowing about those stuff completely changed everything abt my ex. I'm half fucking proud that I broke up with that asshole. Another half, it still hurts a little knowing about the current news.
I find it unfair that I'm feeling shitty over things that he has emotionless knowing what happened to my life. I find it unfair, I'm the one choosing to leave yet I'm the one breaking down in front of the squad for one entire drinking night. I find it heartbreaking that I assumed he doesn't love me anymore and I was completely right. I find it heartbreaking that he couldn't even make the move, and had to show me how he stopped loving tru his awful actions.
I texted shandy quite late. From those stuff she told me, there was one point I totally said, wow. Wow, for a couple times. My ex, having this sort of history and I had zero clue abt these things? How well do I know him, actually? How well!? Nothing! I don't know him at all! All my respect to him, GONE. He's a piece of shit, not an idiot. Ungrateful, evil, shitty asshole which deserves a special place in hell. Help people, huh? Bullshit. Bullshit.
I gotta admit, I couldn't get over with what I've been told. I couldn't. I couldn't accept he can have that kind of history, but then I do know him quite well. Those stuff she said... Are real. He could've done all that.
Lucky I brought some alcohol to hostel, they come in handy.. it was like 3am. Idk what to do. Nobody's awake. I texted ET. Texted yip man. Idk man. Idk.what to think. I went to the balcony of the fourth floor. It's a quiet place. There aren't many people left awake. It's so alone.
And I know. I need to get over it, prepare for my test on weds. I needed to finish the alcohol, stop thinking. Guess what I did.
I pictured the situation into ET's shoes.
The only way to solve mental shits. Ask him how would he feel.
He'd probably say it's no big deal. He'd say, my ex is that kind of person, and he knew about that since the beginning. Shandy's the most craziest victim. I told her, I really feel sorry for her. She said, she said sorry for me too, because he broke me twice. He broke us. Now he's going to break another girl.
There's a reason one guy can have five exes, and we needed to look into those matters. Not because we mind about their past, but because we don't wanna repeat the reason of breaking up.
Shandy's not the kind of girl that'd unfriend peeps. I'm glad I had this talk with her. It's hard to take in, but... It's a good decision. I got to sleep anyway, after picturing hard what ET would do.
He'd proudly say,
"I don't give a fuck!"
I need his maturity..
No comments:
Post a Comment