I know, I'm going out. It could be anywhere, it could be no where. I want to cry, I want to scream. At the end, I asked myself. Who am I possible to reach out to ? I only thought of ET, yip man.

I asked him where are you? He said he has something to do. He's outside. I said, nevermind. He said, he'd push them forward for me. I said, nevermind.

I drove, I don't know where I'm heading. But I thought, maybe I can drive a little and try to feel better. I drove, he called me.  I was hesitating to answer. And he told me to go meet him.

Fate wasn't helping us. It was mom's car I was driving. My sense of direction sucked. Gps signal sucked. I was lost. Suddenly, I saw myself more towards Wood's place.

I needed to pee. I can't stand being lost on the roads. I didn't know where to go. I forgot how to go. So I went to the place I was familiar with.

So what ?

So what? Exactly. I'm literally looking for my own death. I could've drank it off. Could've just drove and drove without destination. Why am I here to watch?

Yes you're not free. You could live happily like I never existed.

I think we should break up. I don't think you care anymore. Why do I see you and I'm unable to speak? You disappoint me to the deepest.

This is what happens when you love again. Idiot.

Self defense mechanism
Everything is temporary, don't take it seriously. Don't take anything, any word seriously. Promises are temporary. Yes. Don't ever forget how painful it was, it happened once and it will happen again.

You assure the quality. That's also temporary. It's alright. We fall, we learn, we get back up. Get back up. Who needs an A for chem? I need the nerdy spirits. I need to finish mgt assignment right away. Stop hurting yourself for some random temporary guy. He didn't want me in his profile, because he knew that he'd get tired of me, in other words, I'm temporary too in his mind. Don't take it seriously.

Yeah I'm fucking dumb. He taught me once, and now he's teaching me again. He made me love again. Which means, I'll lose him again. Remember, it's nothing. I'm meant to be single forever.

I'm meant to die alone. I'm meant to be that drunk fella that's throwing up on the streets. I don't deserve being loved. There's nothing to cry about. It's life. No one will stay. Yeah.