Today, out of the blue. ET texted me. Am I studying? I said, no. Then he said, let's eat something. He brought me to a nice restaurant, a thai restaurant. Mokata, as we meet with doctor and juan, a new friend.

First thing doctor asked was what happened. He said my posts looked sad. I said, it was a frequent thing, the girl drew me a dead face, what else would I caption it? But anyhow, I said.. I broke up with him. And he said, I know. Heh. This ET.. I'm wondering.. if that day I didn't cry like fuck drinking, would they know? Or they'd know I just looked sad... But anyone could've asked ET. So if ET knows, everyone knows.

Doctor's nice to me. Half because I'm a little shy. I didn't have good appetite. He did a lot of the grilling, then bringing the food into my place. The meat were seriously delicious. They kept asking me, have I ate these stuff before? I said, nah. Vietnam too, nah. I like how they kept saying, they gonna bring me here and there and everywhere. Then they be like why didn't I go during CNY gathering? Because I have a bf.. I'm sorry guys. I know whenever he's around, We'd have a distance.. but he's my love. I had to make sure he's not left out, right ? Bring me next time.

It was a very full meal with a little bit of thai beer. Juan and ET were like typical cray kids staring at pretty girls. I'm not that quiet anymore. I could smile, I could laugh.

Then, they asked. Second round? They told me to make the decision. I said I can't say it. So they be like... Let's go nicsman. I told ET. I'm not having good tolerance.. I threw up at home. I asked him, how much exactly did I drank? He said, don't know, but I kept drinking non stop. I thought that was at the beginning. He said, no, you drank non stop, MORE afterwards. Didn't recall that. So my tolerance is still there, somehow.

I kinda feel bad they had to do this for me. So we were playing dices. They ordered one tower. I thought each of us were taking one or two pints. This time... I was having a bad stomach, again... I was super bloated, kept feeling like puking, but my head was so fine. I think my tolerance is definitely there. But towards the end I got more talkative. I think. I actually poked Juan's leg to call him, to ask random questions. I wish doctor passes all his tests. I wish I get a good Dean's list too. I'm chilling because.. I have time.

I had fun. I'm happy. Such a great day. We drank alot. They made me drink, because they thought I was sad. Like literally. ET made me drink. This evil little shit. Omg. My stomach... But I only see concern in his eyes.

He said, so, how was today? Happy? I said, happy. But then again, when you get back home, it'll be the same. Gotta move on.

They're people who care.
I'm not drunk, I would say. My heads not even spinning. My stomach's just bloated. I said. Doc, my weight went down for 4kg when he first broke up with me. He said, first loves are like that.

They treated me like a little sister. Like... I don't know. I love them. It kills me. I'm scared. Idk.

Do you remember what you said you'd do for me when I became 21? 

These are friends you can keep. Friends you treasure forever and never forget them.

Let's get out, have ourselves distracted. Stop the pain, move on. I will move on.

I'm really thankful that they're there for me. They're here for me.. I'm sorry... It's my trouble but they, they gave me their time, company... They want to make me feel better.

It's the most fucking huge blessing I've ever have. I love this bunch, and I will get better. I love this bunch so much. If I ever get a future bf, and they don't accept me hanging around with them, then he's not my bf.

Somehow I got a little regret telling my fam abt the break. They being nosy, ignorant. Asking me why do I go out so often. So am I supposed to stay at home all day to look at the walls just to think about the past or what ? Senses please.

These friends. These are the people I love most. I love them more than wood. I love the support they give, the concern they have, and that they care about my feelings. They know that there's nothing they can say, but they can give what they can: company. And that's all I need.