I realized I used to hesitate a lot. Posting a post, tapping in to our old photo, deleting, archiving, muting, hiding, unfollowing. I did all those. Not all at once, bit by bit when I remember them. And it was no hesitation. Even the sentence "I think we should break up." Was sent about one sec after typing.

Maybe I was quite ready this time.

We had one chance. If he says no, if he reassures to start treating me right, I would've let it be. But he didn't. It just means, he's strongly confident that he can't do it. Can't treat me better. Can't control his fucked up attitude from nothing.

To think of it, he didn't really agree to break up. It wasn't completely official, because when I said, what else can we do? He said he didn't know what I need. And when I told him what I needed, he did not reply. Until now. I didn't wait tho. Waited for like ten minutes. I didn't cry. I calmly muted his contact, I calmly archived him. And then, there I go craving alcohol. There I go, driving.

He didn't reply.
It's kinda hanging right there. But whatever he's gonna say, if he's gonna say anything, it doesn't make any sense anymore.

I was wrong. Maybe I love him. He doesn't love me. Why do I need to beg for someone to care about my feelings if that someone really does love me? That doesn't make any sense too. That's a lie. He doesn't, he never loved. Since the start, it was fucking obvious. He wanted my attention. He wanted to be loved, but not loving back.

Fine. Fine.

Fine.

Remember what he said to me. Just gotta do that. Remember every single hurtful things. Then there's nothing to be sad about.