Inti BC

I actually asked ys. How do you know that guy? A physio guy, who's considered graduated. He asked me, does he has a nickname or smtg? I answered, "Sohai". It was the most appropriate nickname isn't it?

Ah this guy.

Canon? Pfft. YS beats him. I'm happy to hear that. People are confident on me getting champion for all three categories, but I'm not. We have that girl, and another girl. I might get bronze again for all three. It's distressing. If I don't get a champion this time, I don't think there are other chances already. It's not competitive, but it should be fun.

I have a test tomorrow but I went for baddy anyway. It was a good decision. The committees were off. We get to play. The opponent pair wanted to play with us. Of course I'm not gonna kill them here. It's too mean. I kill a little here and there, but mostly they kill themselves.

Today all of us were crazily starving. Idk why. We were like saying gosh I'm hungry in the middle of the matches. So then we went to eat ramlee burger. PJ still has the best everything. But maybe not the best people. PJ people are all probably corrupted. These new people, idk. Maybe I was a little too honest with them. Menshoe got my horoscope correct. Because I talk a lot, and all. I seriously dk how that works.

They asked me why I didn't join bc earlier. To be true, it's related to my ex. Everything is related. Love is blind. I make decisions that aren't that wise. Do I feel regret? Idk. But I like how the way life is right now. The committees live in the hostels too, except ys, living outside. It's pretty dangerous walking back that late at night, alone.

I'm probably thinking about the past a little more than I should, recently. Just because I saw his name, once. It's so easy to trigger me isn't it. I suck. My shots were so off. It isn't me.

I like how I play rn, tbh. I can cover people like a tiny bit. I can lessen the burden to guys when we mix. I can be the strong player in womans doubles. I can be the one people expect me to be a champion. The thing is, I never had a champion. And I dare not to expect that too. My arm aren't okay. My period should be on the way. My partner's a little too clumsy. What if I go for champion for singles??? It's a little tough for me. But... Idk. Haih. I'm so ready to win a category just for once. But from the past experiences, they're just telling me, it's a daydream.

Life is fucked up. You can love someone with all your heart, and can still be assumed to be cheating. You can study so thoroughly that you think there's nothing more to study, but your lecturer shakes his head at the end. You can hand in a journal with full confident, then getting low marks, not even a reason why. Idk.

Recently, only baddy's the thing not going too wrong. Sometimes I see menshoe's frustration, it reminds me of me. I used to be like that more frequently because I wasn't at my current level back then. It was reaaally frustrating. The mistakes. The bad shots. I never really know why. Now I know why. I probably wasn't thinking about where I should hit, how I should hit. Now I think, I aim. Usually if it's a wrong strategy, it's a lesson right away, not frustrating, but I guess I look forward more than anything. Maybe the competition wouldn't feel like a competition to me. I'll be really chill.

Menshoe said she thought I looked really cool at the beginning when I joined. Like I was hard to be with. Maybe I was hard to be with. Maybe, I'm getting better recently. If I'm really talking that much, it means, I should be getting better. Or is it?