Physio clinic

I went for my appointment. I honestly told the girl that another guy did tried to treat me and then I didn't have enough determination. So yeah but I think the treatment shouldn't be completely the same so here I am.

So I told her a quite specific history about when it all went wrong, when it went super bad.. she did some examinations... Guess what, something I couldn't do at all. Arm raised parallel to the body at 90 degrees, thumb pointing downwards. I completely couldn't move up against resistance. And it was baaaaad.

It's quite specific, what she said. I guess physio people enjoy giving loads of exercises. At least she knows what she's doing. It's actually showing me that there is a possibility of recovering, given the patient doesn't lose patience. Given that I don't lose my patience. It's gonna be a tough challenge. But for badminton. At least she didn't tell me to completely rest, just avoid smashing and lobbing since it's what hurts the arm. Good, I can start working hard on my wrist when trying to recover the arm.

I know. I should've listened, maintained the exercises to strengthen that stupid piece of muscle. She said, it could've started with a small pull, a tear. Or whatever, which was supposed to be able to recover by itself, but I did not rest. So my arm starts compensating by using other muscles to perform whatever I needed to do. Ending up that injured piece of muscle didn't work, and I didn't use it, so it's this bad right now. Makes a lot of sense. He said that too I think? Something like that.

I like how I understand a few terms she used. Sometimes she tried to use the layman term while I understood the scientific term. Scientific terms rule. We good. Gonna learn more everyday. Life is good. I just have to fix my arm, for it to be perfect.

Oh small update for today.
I accidentally accepted a DJ from fb. I don't even know who the hell he was, I accepted. So he texted me a little and asked whether he could date me. Hilarious. Then I kinda made him get lost when I said "I'm interested in girls". HAHAHAAH. It's really fun. Oh my god. I need to do this more often. He actually believed me???? DJ guy. Probably a super dry alcoholic shit person like ET. Boys like to play, we gotta play along isn't it?

Life's good. Be happy. Stop being impatient.

Sometimes I really hate my memory in people. My memory in the things I want to remember, things I don't want to let go. I can forget everything so easily. But I can't forget. So conflicting eh?

I saw the soft epilogue post from three years back. We broke up three years ago, around this period. Honestly I have no time to be sentimental about stuff. But it's almost 12. Can you believe it ? Three years. Let's just say, only the first nine months counted. Cuz I always thought the second time, you must be on some crack deciding to come back, since you were so much shittier the second time. We had known each other for like five years. Such a long time. I never regret any sec. It's been a crazy nine months. I'm glad we stopped back then, my fist would've been broken, maybe I've suicided if we didn't stop. Maybe I'd become a totally different person from now, and that thought of different scares me. I don't call myself a happy person. But back then, I was probably fucked up daily. Lucky I didn't develop mental problems and stopped being sane. Lucky we stopped, really. Always thankful for us to be us. It wasn't the best nine months, it was also the best nine months. Conflicting eh? We had ups and downs, that's normal. Back then I held tight. I always thought, you could make me the happiest person in the world, at the same time, the most depressed person in the world. Maybe you're not that toxic after all, it's just the way I live is toxic. The way I appreciate people.

I'm gonna admit. I fucked up my arm because I was sad. I needed to go out a lot. And when people realize how much I like baddy, they ask me out for baddy, a lot. I never rejected. I went, despite how tired I was. I needed to distract myself. That was the first year I think? But slowly, I became better. I had wise friends with wise advices. Those friends that are no longer friends. I begin to accept something realistic but sad. Everything, everyone is temporary. So I tried to appreciate these people. I know them tru baddy, means I maintain them tru baddy. The following years, I played that much because I wanted to be with those people. I loved them a lot. Loong squad. They cared.
You can conclude that I'm a fucking dumbass. I ruined my arm because of my first bf. I further ruined my arm because of some temporary people that healed my shitty mental state. My arm is almost completely ruined, but now I'm not sad anymore. Now, I don't have that kind of friends I want to maintain anymore. I have, actually. But I don't mind anymore. Lavana squad wasn't the same as loong squad. Loong squad did a lot for me when they found out I was fucked up. Lavana squad.... Kon is beginning to talk weird. It's good that I stay away for awhile. Never fall in love when it comes to baddy squad. Never let that happen to kon. It happened within loong squad and now it's gone. It happened to my first bf and now it's gone. Life is still fine...