I had a dream of him, the day before yesterday. In the dream, we were still together. Honestly I didn't take much time to think abt that so it wasn't a clear dream anymore. Can't really remember what happened in there. I just remember, we went to many many places and he was with me. We talked. Idk abt what. Lol. It's so blurry, like how our memories have become. Or is it ?

Gosh why are you so sad? Go study, chicken. You'll become so busy that you wouldn't have time to be sad. Too busy stressing out crying over tests, who cares about people ?

There are people who suicide for the insurance money. That's some sacrifice. But it's a good thing. Dying is a way to contribute to the world. It's overpopulated anyway. I know, I'm mean. Sorry, not sorry. If I get some sort of disease and had to die, I'll take it. If natural selection has to take me, bring it on. Survival of the fittest. Nobody's special. Mutations happen in everyone, everyday, we just get sick when the repair mechanisms get old, when we get old. It's a fair world.

I'm so tired. So tired.
I didn't take any time to deeply analyze it, doesn't mean I won't remember. I haven't seen him for such a long time. But the face, the touch, everything is so... Like it's been so long.

Was it that long?
How's your arm, I wonder. How's your new girl. How's physio intern. How's being alone. How's life.

Midnight's stopped bothering me for awhile. Thanks to these stupid games. I've been on my phone for prob More than 12hours just in a few days. It's like monopoly. It's like saboteur. You won't know when time has passed. You stay distracted anyway.

I don't even enjoy these kinds of midnights. I didn't even feel anything when I'm actually isolated indoors for four days.

I rather feel. I rather get fucked up. Lol