You know.. when you talked about someone and they popped out like a ghost.

I talked to the Ipoh girls about how my parents got used to me having no curfews.. starts from baddy with bunch of boys in the afternoons, progressing to coming back late from late night movies, then baddy on late nights... So drinking wasn't even an issue anymore.

I was just reaching the movie part. I was just mentioning his name, then he showed up. He passed by me when I was eating noodles and he actually played my bun, then walked off like a stranger. The girls didn't even see who it was. But of course, how could I have missed it? The one and only back I know best. It's him. He didn't even have to turn over.

I stunned, but I got up to go after him. What kind of urge was that ? I didn't make it tho. He was gone just few secs away. I didn't even know where he went.

So I told him about it it fb messenger. Cuz it's really so fucking coincidence! How can you not tell. But he kinda assumed I talked bad about him.

I can't correct him right ? Do not be nice. Do not be nice. If you like to assume it that way, be it.

But you have no idea, how much. I missed you.

There's a love hate relationship.  I hate you. I dislike you. But I miss you. I think about you. I can never forget you. To think of it, it's not even coincidence. I always talked about you like you're part of my life. I can't help it. Like you're always in my head. It's so normal to talk about you. Meanwhile, it's so normal for you to think I talk bad about you. That's what I want you to assume isn't it? So I won't correct you.

I hate myself. This is wrong. Stop the conversation. Stop, and go study. No. This is wrong. The way how things progressed, sounds like we're friends. We are not friends. We can't be friends.

I have a soft spot for you. It is wrong. I shouldn't be texting you at the first place. Look at me. Awman. I'm doomed. I'm dead. I'm confirm dead.

I want my arm back.
He offered help.

He said, my patients can become my friends. But not hoping friends turning into patients.

He offered help.

No I'm not happy. I'm exactly like him. I'm happy knowing he's fine. I'm not happy, knowing she's fine. Who would admit? Even if she's not, he wouldn't tell. For sure. Duh.

But my rationality is happy. If they stay together forever, I have my own permission granted. Why can't we be friends then? There's no reason I'd ruin myself again, for him. Yeah. Why not? It's a good news. Means he changed for the good. Or maybe, I was just a shitty person. He was always fine.

It would be perfect if they stay together forever. But I know him so well. The first few months could be great. And then what? You know, I know. We all know. Nobody can stand that guy. Nobody. No one can be sure whether they'd stay together always. And I'm pretty sure they couldn't. Life has it's way. Everything is temporary.

Ok what's with me ?