Thought of loong today. Thought of my first again.

I called him in his fullname, demanding him to promise me that he'd live a long life. He promised me he'd live till 100 years old. Haha. I still have that voice record. My fucked up drunk voice. His promise. And then that day at Arena bar. Pineapple joined us to drink for the first time. We even touched cigs. All the details, so fresh. I won't ever forget is it?

This song. Ahaha I remember completely losing my shit. The singer wasn't even thaaat good. I was just sad. Alvisy. I don't really like that place. It's too much cigs. Can't breathe right there. But there are those people I loved. ET was still normal back then. I'm over it, I think. I don't hate whatever he did anymore. I stopped thinking about it. We completely lost contact, which is great. He'd be single forever. He's actually much better looking if he cut down weight. But ugh the thought of his face, still makes me cringe. Ew no get it out.

There was juan. Doctor. Pan. Mic. Crisp. Sometimes I still think of V. The guy who backstabbed CK by stealing his gf. V was a nice guy. I believe he's a nice guy. Ck has his problems. Everyone has that. The girl didn't manage it well, it wasn't completely V's fault.

I'm tired from studies. I'm happy with that. Not from self abusing, not from being played. Not being tortured by living nightmares. I'm tired from daydreaming about food and procrastinating watching cat videos all day. I'm tired from laying around enjoying blanks. And it's good.

I don't drink anymore. I mean, I drink, but I don't alcoholic anymore. I control. And my tolerance still remains. I'm meeting new peeps. I'm loving coach. Loving what I'm doing, basically most of the time. Even loving the things I thought I'm gonna hate. Micro. It's one unexpected thing.

I kinda quit lavana squad. Quit loong squad. I'm verbally fighting ginger. He's annoying me. Kinda like how I hated moon but still we remained friends.. I think it's just me being narrow hearted. Boys like to tease. I can accept a little bit of that. But they do not go too over. Cuz I'd stab them in the heart. I hate moon's middle finger. I know he thinks it looked nice. I think it's stupid. And ginger? He likes to say discouraging things when I'm discouraged. So at the end I'm being really mean to him. Indirectly just telling him to fuck off. Haha. It's just how we communicate I guess.

One does not tell a suicidal person, "Go ahead, and die."
Even tho I'm not suicidal anymore. But I'd do it seeing such words in that kind of situation. So encouraging.

All the lab classes are over. I'm a little sad about that. But also, happy. All the extra free time. All the classes becoming... Nothing. The timetable becoming empty. That's one good thing about lab classes. It finishes way earlier than lectures.

I gotta utilize my holidays very nicely. Haih..